Category Archives: Sunday Book Club

Book Review! Douglass’ Women by Jewell Parker Rhodes

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Okay, this is going to be the last Book Review for a bit – I was reading like crazy for a while but now I have to catch up on other topics!

Initial Thoughts:
“Douglass’ Women” is a random $1 Store find – believe it or not! It wasn’t on my Book List but it sounded intriguing and I thought, “For $1, why not?!”. I’m not up to date on all the history about Frederick Douglass, especially his family life, so I’m not sure how much of this is true or fictionalized.

Plot:
The story of famous abolitionist, Frederick Douglass, as told from the point of view of the two women he loved most – according to this story. One, his wife, a free woman of color, Anna Murray Douglass & the other, his lover, an educated white German woman named Ottilie Assing. They battle each other over the years & eventually come to the realization that Douglass is the problem. Unfortunately, they’re both too invested to turn away so they spend the rest of their lives longing for a man that cannot give either of them what they truly want & deserve. The story shows the different ways people deal with love, grief, infidelity, and how those emotions can help us find ourselves, or tear us down. Essentially, the typical story of a cheater & the people they hurt along the way.

Characters:
– In the beginning, Anna is a woman with almost nothing to offer, except what Frederick wants most – freedom. Initially he is attracted to her potential and the future they COULD have together. Like most dreams, to make it a reality you have to put in effort. He didn’t want to put in the effort to build a future with Anna, he was more focused on building his future in the political world. Anna saw a much different future. She saw babies and a love to grow old with, not politics and traveling the world. They didn’t know each other long enough before jumping into a commitment to know that they just weren’t compatible because they wanted very different things. Anna is an extremely strong woman. Anna’s desire to be with Frederick was misguided from the beginning, but she stays committed & tries to make the marriage successful. She manages to persevere and raise her children with grace & dignity, despite the many “sins” her husband commits against her.
– Ottilie is a woman who offers Frederick everything, a whole world of formal education, fancy parties, powerful people, and social change. They are more compatible on a social and intellectual level. However, Ottilie’s obsessive desire to be with Douglass in a romantic way is their undoing. She gives him too much. He tries to resist at first, but she persists and shows him he can have his cake & eat it too. Obviously they live in a time where divorce wasn’t much of an option so she had to have known all along that he could only be with her legally once Anna died. What a risky game! Unfortunately, that is often the case when a woman agrees to become “The Other Woman”. In the beginning Ottilie comes across as villainous. She makes everything a competition with Anna, in her mind & in conversations with Frederick. However, towards the end, you see she was just lonely, insecure, & also misguided. Although she honestly should have expected it, when Frederick eventually betrays her too, she loses all sense of reason. To a certain extent her reaction is understandable because she’s centered her life around him, but that’s why you can’t build a life focused on someone else. If, most likely when, they leave you, you have nothing left.
– Frederick is tough to analyze. He comes off as a very rude, selfish, conceited, mean spirited man, but you have to understand that he spent his youth being treated less than human by slave owners. Earning his freedom allows him to pursue (almost) anything he wants & he wants it all. How can you blame him? However, despite his circumstances, I still feel like he had an ugly heart. He was always so focused on himself, even in the bedroom! During the sex scenes, which were very uncomfortable to read, his “sexy talk” consists of, for example, “I’m no slave” & “I’m equal to any man”. Uhhhh okay, a romantic moment with a lady isn’t really the time for this kind of talk – at least in my opinion, but what do I know!? Based on his character as described in this story, I have no warm feelings for him, despite his accomplishments. I’m not sure if the author is doing a historical figure a disservice or if she did the research to find that he really was not a great person in regards to his personal life.

Quotes:
Pg 225: Anna, “When I was most angry, I reminded myself Freddy fathered my children”, Ottile, “When I was most lonely, words failed to comfort me. Ideas can never be children”.
I think these two quotes sum up a great deal about these characters. Anna was angry with the way Frederick treated her. She used her position as a mother to help her cope. She couldn’t give Frederick a beautiful, educated wife to impress his colleagues with, but she gave him a family. Ottilie, on the other hand, was defined by her loneliness, that’s why she started the affair to begin with! While she could give Frederick the lifestyle Anna couldn’t, she couldn’t give him a family to continue on his legacy. That’s the draw of the two women. They both offered something completely different, a “special skill set”, that Frederick wanted.

Overall:
A sad story of two strong, educated in their own way, extremely different women that found themselves struck down in the name of love. This story shows the paths that love can lead us down & how they aren’t always as romantic as we envision them to be.

Rating: B
I enjoyed this book, although the sex was a little much for me. I guess you won’t find me reading “50 Shades…” anytime soon, haha! The reason for the B rating is simply because I wasn’t over the moon about this book. It was good, but not something I need to read again.

Have you read “Douglass’ Women”? If so, what are your thoughts? Did you find it enjoyable? I also recently reviewed “The Duchess” by Amanda Foreman – another book based on women in history, although that one was written as a Thesis so it’s more historically accurate. Do you have any book suggestions for me? Please let me know in the comments below!

Book Review! The Sisters by Nancy Jensen

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Lots of book reviews! I still have at least one more planned for this week 😀 “The Sisters” is going to be a quick one – too many potential spoilers!

Usually I write pretty in depth Book Reviews with Character Analysis and Quotes, etc. However, my Review of “The Sisters” is going to be much more general. I was so enthralled in the story I raced through without taking any notes. I considered giving it another read simply to take notes to write a better Review, but ultimately decided against it for a couple reasons.

1. There’s no way to talk about the story & characters without spoiling the main mystery, the “big reveal”, the catalyst that sets all the drama in motion. You find out the details in the first few chapters, but it’s still a journey you should experience for yourself, not through Spoilers in this review.
2. I have other books I want to read, haha! While I enjoyed this story & thought it was well written, the subject matter was fairly dark, not something I want to linger over. Plus, now that I know all the ins and outs of the story, there’s no…thrill of the chase, if you will. I know how it ends. Rereading all the pain and suffering this family experiences isn’t going to change anything other than this review. You should take my word that this is a good book without needing a full review, haha!

Rating: B
As mentioned above, the story was super sad, but definitely kept me intrigued. The basic story is about sisters & best friends, Mabel & Bertie, young girls in the 1920’s. When Bertie is 13, a tragic set of circumstances & misunderstanding separates them. The novel follows how, not just their lives, but the lives of subsequent generations are changed because of the actions taken by the two girls. It will tug on your heartstrings especially if you’re a woman and/or have sisters or just in general have had a relationship torn apart due to a misunderstanding. I couldn’t give it a full A because like I said, very dark, not something I’d really want to read again, it didn’t really make me think or inspire me in any way, & towards the end I did have some trouble keeping track of all the characters.

Have you read “The Sisters”? If you want to talk Spoilers, please be courteous of other readers & don’t leave them in the comments! All my contact info is listed at the top of the page – you’re always welcome to shoot me an email at MissAl.Leigh@gmail.com Thanks for reading!!

Book Review! The Happiness Project (April to July)

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This is the 2nd installment of my Happiness Project Review!
I started this project in January, you can read about the first installment here.

APRIL – Lighten Up – Parenthood
Goals: Sing in the morning, Acknowledge the reality of other people’s feelings, Be a treasure house of happy memories, Take time for projects
Review: I became insanely annoyed with author Gretchin Rubin at this point. I agree that reframing a negative outlook to a positive one is a healthy attitude that will lead to a happier life, but my goodness! She really seems like a Negative Nancy, I see why she felt the need to start this project.
My Experience: I had a easy time with singing, taking time for projects (such as this blog), & embracing happy memories. My struggle continues to be with other people’s feelings. I was perfectly fine acknowledging their feelings…it was dealing with them I had an issue with. This ties into being a good listener, which I will openly admit – I’m NOT. I can’t just listen, I want to get involved & become part of the solution. I have a friend that comes to me with her man problems & rather than just acknowledge how she feels & let her share, I say, “You have all the power in the world to leave, just leave!” Which isn’t making either of us happier or bringing us closer, so I tried & will continue to try  to JUST acknowledge her feelings.

MAY – Be Serious About Play – Leisure
Goals: Find more fun, Take time to be silly, Go off the path, Start a collection
Review: I continue to struggle with how I feel about Rubin. For example, she pretended to not like Harry Potter because she thought it was for kids. WHAT!? I’m not a fan of this. On the other hand, she also talks about her love for making “Blank Books” – decorating blank notebooks with magazine cut outs – something I also love to do. I kind of see Rubin as a warning, what I could turn out to be if I take life too seriously & don’t follow my passions.
My Experience: Find more fun/Take time to be silly/Go off the path were all easy goals to accomplish. I had recently moved back to SoCal & decided I would make much better use of my leisure time this summer by exploring more of what SoCal had to offer. My friends & I went on many wild adventures. Every time I live in SoCal I find new, exciting things to do & I’m more sad to leave than I was the time before. The only issue with these new adventures is the money they cost! It can be very expensive to be serious about play. I chose not to “Start a Collection” as I already collect things & honestly should work on slimming down my collections rather than adding to them.

JUNE – Make Time For Friends – Friendship
Goals: Remember birthdays, Be generous, Show up, Don’t gossip, Make 3 new friends
Review: I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned my frustration with the research in this book, but it’s worth another mention. An example that irks me is on pg 157, Rubin says, “…research shows that…when introverts push themselves to act more outgoing, they usually enjoy it…”. I am in no way an expert, but I have my B.A. in Communication Studies & have studied how different personalities communicate. This contradicts most research I’ve read & I know at least a few Introverts that would disagree. I understand research isn’t perfect & when writing a research based piece such as this you only use supporting material. Perhaps I’m a tough audience because I have some background in the topics Rubin is discussing, but overall I don’t feel like I can trust the information, which is a turn off.
My Experience: During my birthday month I had a goal to remember birthdays! I turned off Facebook Birthday notifications to see which ones I genuinely remembered. While Rubin uses Bday greetings as a way to check in with friends, I feel like people “my age” are aware that Social Media is most likely the only reason their Bday was remembered. Any other attempt at communication feels fake, even if it’s not! Too often I’ve sent a Bday greeting & genuinely said, “Let’s catch up!”, only to have no response for whatever reason. The other goals are personal goals anyway, but it was good to reinforce them.

JULY – Buy Some Happiness – Money
Goals: Indulge in a modest splurge, Buy needful things, Spend out, Give something up
Review: Again, I’m more and more displeased with Rubin. No one is perfect, but her Goal in June is to not gossip, then in July, she delights in telling a story about a “wild and reckless guy” & how she was, “quite relieved when he broke his foot…because [it] prevented him from getting up to more mischief”. Uhh, okay? Not sure how that schadenfreude story is supposed to help me like her, but alright.
My Experience: My whole life is an experiment in splurging/buying things I need/giving up stuff I don’t, haha! Spending out was a little more challenging. The premise is somewhat related to “Be generous” and “There’s no time like the present”. Rubin made a good point while “Spending Out” that sometimes she saved blog post ideas for “the right time”. I often do the same thing or won’t create any content unless the setting is EXACTLY perfect, which sometimes results in the post never being created. In an effort to “Spend Out”, I started creating content even if the conditions weren’t just as I pictured them & no one even noticed. Overall, I felt more efficient and productive, which made me, yes, happier.

Quotes:
April – pg 109: “Although it’s true that taking photographs sometimes makes it hard to savor a moment when it’s happening, in the future, having pictures will help me recall a happy time”
YES. People always give me grief about taking pictures/group selfies or taking video at concerts, but I do it because I actually look back on those memories & it takes me back to that awesome moment.

May – pg 119: A quote from C.S. Lewis’s essay “On Three Ways of Writing for Children”: “When I was 10, I read fairy tales in secret & would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am 50 I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness & the desire to be very grown up.”
While I enjoy being a grown up, I don’t think that has to mean taking on a whole new set of “boring/serious adult interests”. The older I get, the less I care what other people think. I’m not cool, trendy, hip, whatever, I’m just me, & I like what I like. I think unhappy, insecure people try to trash talk other people’s interests.

This year is flying by & I’m obviously more than halfway finished with this book & project. I don’t necessarily feel that my whole life has changed in any substantial way or that my relationships have improved. As I mentioned earlier, I do feel slightly more efficient & productive in regards to my blog, which is making me happier in that aspect of my life. I’m also starting to feel that some of these goals are extremely similar in concept, just worded differently, so it’s feeling a bit repetitive.

What do you think of “The Happiness Project”? Have you read this or any similar “self help” type book? Please let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading!

Book Review! The Duchess by Amanda Foreman

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Hi everyone! Today I will be reviewing a novel called “The Duchess” written by Amanda Foreman. This is a pretty hefty book, clocking in at almost 400 pages with about 40 pages of Notes in the back. To keep the length of this post down, I tried to keep the re-telling of the story to a minimum and spoilers at bay. This is basically exactly what my notes were as I read. Without further ado…

Initial Thoughts:
Foreman wrote this biography based on her doctoral thesis & is supposedly the only person to have ever turned their thesis into a best selling biography.  I thought this was commendable as I’m considering going to Grad school, but the idea of having to write a thesis is very overwhelming. I admire Foreman’s dedication to her education and her passion for the topic. I wanted to read this to get an idea of what a thesis looks like and I wanted to find out more about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. I had seen advertisements for the film, “The Duchess”, many years ago when it was released and thought the plot seemed intriguing, but wanted to read the book first.

Plot:
“The Duchess” is the biography of Georgiana Spencer Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, circa 1774. She was the great-great-great-great-aunt of Princess Diana of Wales and was just as big a celebrity. The biography, obviously, tells the story of Georgiana’s life and the dichotomy of her public and personal life. From the outside looking in, Georgiana had it all, money, fame, and popularity. Inside, she was a deeply unhappy woman, plagued by years of insecurity and people pleasing that led her down a dark road of addiction and misfortune. It’s pretty interesting how popular and involved in shaping history she was, yet I’ve never learned about her. Foreman addresses some reasons that shed light on how history has been RE-WRITTEN by our ancestors and we’re not always getting the full story about how things happened. I guess this bio is good for conspiracy theory fans too, haha!

Characters:
– Georgiana Spencer Cavendish is obviously the main character. We share a birthday, June 7th, woo hoo! separated by a few hundred years. When her father died he left behind a fortune that today would equal $74 million, so she was certainly well off and used that money to educate herself in several avenues. Georgiana was like 1700’s Barbie, she did everything. Not only was she involved in politics, fashion, etc, she was a published author, and also “…an amateur chemist & mineralogist of note…” (p 269), among other accomplishments. She openly participated in political campaigning even though it brought her much negative attention. For every person that admired her involvement, there was someone else smearing her name. Despite her wealth, education, and popularity, you have to feel bad for this woman’s personal life. Her husband had a child by a mistress before he & Georgiana were even married. Their marriage was a train wreck, they both cheated, had children with other partners, and came very close to divorcing which was practically unheard of then.
– The Spencer, Cavendish, and other popular families of the time remind me of the Kardashian family. Super wealthy, spoiled, the center of attention and scandal, involved in each other’s business – & that’s just the way they wanted it.

Quotes:
– A passage on page 153 shows how attacks on women haven’t changed much in hundreds of years. It lists specific reasons Georgiana was so heavily criticized by certain members of the public for her political involvement. She was criticized for bringing “her own personality to the campaign in an era when the only women who had public personas were actresses & courtesans…”. There were also double standards between her and male campaigners. For a male to associate with the common people and treat voters as equals earned him the title of “Man of the People”. When Georgiana did the same & earned the title, a “Woman of the People”, it meant she was a whore.
– In a way, the reader never really gets to know Georgiana because everything she did was scrutinized & she had to act a certain way. For example, in a one letter, she writes about how the last few months were the best of her life, then at the end of the letter she complains that she’s never been sadder (p 273). Her emotions ranged so wildly, it was hard to tell how she genuinely felt or if she was just acting.
– P 382 gives a very inspiring and flattering description of Georgiana, listing all her accomplishments and contributions to society. She should be proud to be remembered that way & you can clearly see why Foreman was so passionate about her.

Overall:
– This biography is not for everyone. It’s certainly not light reading for most. I found it hard to keep track of the family trees, relationships, and the timeline of Georgiana’s life. There are huge sections of history information, and while I understand its inclusion, it’s not what I wanted to read about. I wanted to get to the juicy stuff about Georgiana!
– Another aspect of the book I found hard to follow were the footnotes. The print was super small and you had to find the correct footnote that corresponded with the number in the main text – it was a lot of back and forth reading of small print. Why not just include the footnote in the main text? I figured that’s the way a thesis is set up, but I’m not sure.
– While the historical content did become overwhelming, I did enjoy learning about the way women’s rights and family dynamics have changed, or not, since Georgiana’s time.

Rating: B-
Honestly, this book didn’t do much for me because I was more interested in the woman, not the time period and you get “too much” of the latter. I can’t fault Foreman for that, she did an amazing job doing her research, I just wasn’t terribly interested. As I mentioned above, this biography is best suited for someone that has a genuine interest in the time period and political happenings within it, not solely interested in Georgiana’s life. I gave it a low B because I admire Foreman’s work, but I couldn’t get past the abundance of historical material rather than focus on Georgiana’s personal life, so the story didn’t really grab me. I feel like I would be more interested in the film version of the bio which of course will be highly sensationalized to grab viewer’s attention.

Have you read “The Duchess”? Have you ever heard of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire? Please share your thoughts on this review or the biography in the comments down below! As always, I welcome any and all book suggestions you might have – until next time, hit that FOLLOW button on the top right to stay updated with all my posts!

Book Review! Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

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OH MY GOSH! I’m FREAKING OUT over this book. It’s seriously THAT GOOD! I’m so stinking excited to talk to you today about “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”. The inspiration for this book is really unique. Ransom Riggs, the author, started collecting vintage pictures from thrift stores & flea markets. He felt such an intense curiosity to know the story behind these anonymous pictures that, rather than settle for never knowing, he created his own fantastical stories to explain what was going on in the photos. There are several odd photos placed in the book that you would think are Photoshopped, but are real pictures he found while writing. According to Riggs’ website, this series – there are 3 Miss Peregrine novels, the last one slated to be released September of this year – is being made into a film by Tim Burton. OF COURSE IT IS. I’m not a huge Burton enthusiast, but he’s a perfect choice in this case. Okay, onto the review. I’ll try my best to limit the spoilers because I really do want you all to read this book. Really, like right now, click on the picture of the book above & buy it from Amazon. However, if you insist on reading my full review before buying it, it’s fine, I guess. Here we go!

Plot: Jacob grows up idolizing his tall tale telling grandfather, Grandpa Portman. He grows disillusioned as a teenager when he realizes that Grandpa Portman’s stories about being shipped to an orphanage in Wales, a magical place where no one ever got sick or died & was protected by a woman who could turn into a bird, could not possibly be true. Tragedy strikes & through a series of insane events Jacob is forced to admit that Grandpa Portman’s stories were much more real than he previously believed. He embarks on a whirlwind adventure full of magic, danger, romance, and self discovery.

Initial Thoughts: I had no expectations going into this novel. I wasn’t even really sure what genre it was, fantasy, sci fi, children’s literature, zombies, all of the above? Right off the bat, Grandpa Portman tells stories of monsters in Poland circa WWII & I was thinking, “Hmm, real monsters or is this a veiled reference to the Nazi Party? What are we dealing with here?” The answer is, to a certain degree, both! After finishing the first two pages, I wrote a note, “I’m so excited to read this book, will I have nightmares?! Am I ready to welcome another series into my life?! I’m already in a very committed, long term relationship with Harry Potter..”. Riggs’ writing already had me hooked.
I was reminded of the movie “Big Fish”. If you’ve never seen it, you’re living life all wrong. “Big Fish” is easily one of my top 10 favorite movies.Everyone loves it, Yellowcard even wrote a song about it called “How I Go” which makes me weep every time I hear it. The bottom line is it’s an amazing film directed by Tim Burton (a pattern is emerging) about a man with a strained relationship with his father. The father always tells amazing, wild stories of his youth which the son stopped believing a long time ago. Through flashbacks you’re swept up in the father’s magical stories & in the end the film is really about how we stay in the hearts of those we love, even when we’re not around anymore. That’s all I’ll say, seriously, you should watch it. Back to the review…

Characters: Jacob is a wonderful character, well developed, & different from other characters in YA Fiction, which is technically the book’s genre. Usually I’m annoyed by teenage characters, but not Jacob. He admits to being odd, scared, & not macho, but continues on his adventure because he’s inspired by the life of someone he loved. I love that he cries! It’s rare to find young male characters so in touch with their emotions.
A character that helps my “Big Fish” tie in, is Emma Bloom. The main character in “Big Fish” is named Edward Bloom. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence but it made me happy to continue the connection between the two stories.

Quotes – SPOILERS HERE!!!:
– Not necessarily a quote, but on page 48 there’s a passage describing how Jacob’s family deals with the aftermath of Grandpa Portman passing away. If you’ve ever had to go through someone’s belongings after they’ve passed away – you will totally identify with this scene. Riggs writes the most accurate description of that process that I’ve ever read.
– pg 108, Jacob talks about how WWII has changed his family history. It’s kind of a long passage but I thought it was really powerful. “I thought about how my great-grandparents had starved to death…their wasted bodies being fed to incinerators because people they didn’t know hated them. I thought about how the children who had lived in this house had been burned up & blown apart because a pilot who didn’t care pushed a button. I thought about how my grandfather’s family had been taken from him, and how because of that my dad grew up feeling like he didn’t have a dad…[a]ll because of a 70 year old hurt that had somehow been passed down to me like some poisonous heirloom & monsters I couldn’t fight because they were all dead, beyond killing or punishing or any kind of reckoning. At least my grandfather had been able to join the army & go fight them. What could I do?”

Overall: I’m sure you can tell I loved this book with a serious passion. My one hiccup was the romance between Emma & Jacob. No Spoilers, but given her past, the romance between them was slightly uncomfortable for me. The twist near the end threw me for a loop! Again, to avoid spoilers, that’s all I’m going to say. My note literally reads, “Holy effin shit! Holy effin shit! I knew he was suspect but never expected THIS! The nightmares are gonna be so real tonight”. I have referenced nightmares a few times, but please don’t be afraid, I’m mostly being dramatic. While the story was intense, it tied into many other works of fiction that I have a soft spot for. As previously mentioned, “Big Fish”, but also “Peter Pan” because of the whole children on an island that never grow old aspect, “Harry Potter” because of the magic, plus Jacob & Harry seem like kindred spirits, they never know the important details until it’s too late & they’re left to fight on in the memory of those who inspired them, & “Supernatural”, because Grandpa Portman was a hunter, an absent father out fighting darkness, & Jacob continues on the family business. So if you like any of those things – you should enjoy this story.

Rating: A+! Obviously!! After all that raving could I really have given this book any other rating?! “Miss Peregrine’s…” was highly entertaining and engaging. I literally couldn’t put it down & finished reading it in about 3 or 4 hours. I realize a second more thorough reading may reveal plot holes or annoyances in the character’s personalities I didn’t notice before, but this first reading was pure joy. This novel was everything I look for in a “A+” work, well written characters & an engaging, relatable story that was able to suck me in, take me away, & make me care about everything it had to offer. I am definitely looking forward to reading the second installment in the series, “Hollow City”. I would also be interested in prequel books featuring Grandpa Portman’s adventures during WWII – maybe I should write a letter to Riggs suggesting that, haha!

Have you read “Miss Peregrine’s…” or the second novel “Hollow City”? Are you enjoying this series as much as I am?! If you haven’t heard of this series before, what do you think, will you give it a try? Please let me know what you thought of this review in the comments below! Send your book recommendations my way & I’ll add them to my list of Books to Read! Please click the FOLLOW button on the top right of this page to be notified by email when I post my next Book Review. Thanks for reading, until we meet again!

Book Review! The Happiness Project – January/February/March!

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Hey all!
I’ve had this book on my To Read list for a long time & decided January 2015 was the perfect time to start a Self Actualization/Self Help book, ya know, “New Year, New You”. That turned out to be the best decision because the author, Gretchen Rubin, created The Happiness Project as a year long project. Each chapter is a reflection of goals she set for herself & how she spent the month working towards them. Rubin was a Supreme Court clerk, but decided to leave law to become a writer. The Happiness Project consists of her personal values and research she conducted on the subject of Happiness.

I connected with Rubin almost immediately because she talks about something that I often struggle with, waiting to start projects until her life is in just the right place. I have a tendency to do the same thing, as evidenced by the way I waited precisely until January 1st to start this year long project. Rubin ends up deciding there are no perfect circumstances & sometimes you just have to dive into things. Her desire to change her way of thinking motivated me to join Rubin on her Happiness Project, instead of just reading about it. Each month I will follow the goals & we’ll see how I do. Look for these reviews periodically as it will (obviously) take me a year to fully complete this review and project.

Below, you will find the Goals for January, February, & March, my review of the author’s experience, and what my own experience was. Click the FOLLOW me button on the top right to be notified by email when I post the next installment!

JANUARY
Goals: Sleep earlier, Exercise better, Toss/restore/organize, Tackle a nagging task, Act more energetic
Review: I enjoy Rubin’s writing, she’s sarcastic and sassy. We would be great friends or hate each other because we’re too similar. She’s pretty Type-A & I can be too. She talks about finding peace through having things in just the right order. My friends & family semi-seriously joke that I have OCD because while I’m not necessarily a neat freak, I can be VERY particular. Another thing we have in common is an “insatiable need for credit” (p 24). We want the gold star! We’re highly motivated by praise – I’m really giving away all my secrets – haha!
My Experience: January’s goals were a breeze as I had already made them my New Year’s Resolutions.  I had just moved back to my hometown & was an unemployed, recent college grad – it was the perfect time to focus on my health and sort through the belongings I had accumulated in recent years plus all the stuff waiting for me at my childhood home. I definitely felt better after getting my things in order (somewhat) & getting back into a healthy lifestyle.

FEBRUARY
Goals: Quit nagging, Don’t expect praise or recognition, Fight right, No dumping, Give proofs of love
Review: While this book is based on Rubin’s experience, she also delves into research she conducted, which I found interesting & somewhat troublesome. Something that struck a nerve for me was, “the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women” (p 52). I found this interesting because I don’t consider myself lonely & a majority of my friends are males because I don’t often find friendships with women fulfilling. The troublesome part of the research was that it relied heavily on stereotypical gender studies. For example, on p53 she talks about her husband not being a good listener, “[l]earning that men & women both turn to women for understanding showed me that Jamie wasn’t ignoring me out of lack of interest or affection: he just wasn’t good at giving that kind of support…[he] wasn’t going to have long discussions…[h]e didn’t want to spend hours pumping up my self-confidence” First of all, who WANTS to spend HOURS pumping up someone’s self confidence?! Second, why should we assume just because he’s male that he doesn’t want to have long discussions or isn’t a good listener? I know plenty of males that enjoy talking way more than I do & are way better listeners – that’s why we’re friends, because we complement each other. I understand there’s science behind these ideas, but if we want to grow as a society, we have to stop applying stereotypes to all men/women. Just learn about people & who they are.
My Experience: This month’s Goals were focused on Rubin’s marriage & I’m single, so I simply chose to apply the Goals to my friends and family. Following through was not as simple. I definitely struggled this month. I was especially nervous about “Don’t expect praise/recognition” because as mentioned earlier – I want that gold star! For example, as a “proof of love”, I bought my mom & myself passes to a ZUMBA studio. The instructor asked how we found them & my mom said, “We found you on Groupon”. Usually, this is where I would jump in & say, “Actually! I found the passes & bought them as a gift”, but I bit my tongue. I tried to consider these struggles as “what difference would it make?” issues. What difference did it make for the ZUMBA instructor to know that taking classes was MY idea, who cares!? Well, I care, but I guess that’s not the point. Another Goal I struggled with was “Quit nagging”. I found it hard to distinguish between nagging and giving a proof of love. Continuing with the ZUMBA example, in the past when my mom wouldn’t want to work out, I’d nag her about getting in shape, being healthy, etc. In an effort to not nag, when she didn’t feel like going to ZUMBA, I didn’t say anything. To me, it felt like I was uninvolved, the nagging was how I showed I cared. In this instance, not nagging worked because my mom found motivation on her own & didn’t feel like I was forcing her. In another instance, when I didn’t nag my friend about following through with something, feelings were hurt because she felt like I hadn’t been involved enough. You can’t please everyone!

MARCH
Goals: Launch a blog, Enjoy the fun of failure, Ask for help, Work smart, Enjoy now
Review: It was comforting to hear Rubin go through similar trials that I have experienced while blogging. A couple quotes from this month I took to heart are, “People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think. Even if [you do] something wrong on the blog, it [won’t] be a disaster” (p75). Also, “one of the biggest challenges posed by my blog was the doubt raised by my own inner critic…Was it egocentric to write so much about my own experience?…I didn’t want to be [a] novelist who spent so much time rewriting his first sentence that he never wrote his second…I needed to…[push] ahead without constantly second guessing myself” (p78).
My Experience: At first glance, I was feeling iffy about these Goals because I already write a blog (obviously), & failure & asking for help are not things I enjoy. The blog issue turned out to be a non-issue, because I’m still in the beginning stages of blogging, so it was easy to follow some of Rubin’s advice and start creating more content. I think I made great strides in terms of posting here more often, which has definitely made me happier and gotten my creative juices flowing as I try to plan my next post. I’ve been asking for help from others in the form of trying to find work & looking for companies that offer new bloggers support like the Bloguettes or Blogger Babes. I’m trying to enjoy the failure of being rejected from jobs, but that’s proving to be difficult. However, when I’m rejected, I try to think of it like “Woo hoo! Now I have more time to find an even more perfect job!”

Overall at this point, I can’t say I’m remarkably happier, but I feel like I’m challenging myself and growing along the way. Is that the same thing as Happiness? I’m not sure, & I think that’s what Rubin is aiming to find out. What do you think!? Have you enjoyed reading about The Happiness Project? Are you inspired to start a project of your own or follow along with me? Please let me know in the comments below! Remember, you can click the picture of the book at the top of this post and it’ll take you to all the Amazon listings – some sales are as low as one penny! Thanks for reading!

Book Review! The Vow by Kim & Krickitt Carpenter with Dana Wilkerson

Posted in Book Review, Books, Review, Sunday Book Club by
The Vow

The Vow

Plot:
“The Vow” is the story of Kim and Krisxan (aka Krickitt) Carpenter. I’m sure y’all are somewhat familiar with the film because it stars Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams, but I’m not sure how many are familiar with the true story that inspired the film. I have not seen the film, but after reading the description on Wikipedia & watching the trailer – it is VERY different from the book. The Carpenters address the film & while it was given their approval, they acknowledge it has been given the Hollywood treatment. It only contains the framework of their story, but does not tell it the way it really happened. After a whirlwind courtship & marriage, the Carpenter’s are involved in a horrific car accident that leaves them both with severe injuries. While Kim’s injuries are extensive, he is eventually able to recover. Krickitt, on the other hand, suffers a Traumatic Brain Injury that results in amnesia preventing her from remembering the last year and a half of her life. This is especially inconvenient because that is the exact length of time she’s known her husband. She wakes up from the accident with no memory of her husband or any of their relationship. The book details their life as they struggle to regain a sense of normalcy & figure out how they’re going to move forward.

Review:
– I felt like the Carpenter’s entire relationship was kind of an odd, extreme, only in the movies type romance. For example, they meet completely by chance when Kim is ordering jackets for the baseball team he coaches. Krickitt answers the phone and Kim falls in love with her voice and spunky attitude. He continues to call to “check on his order” & asks only to speak to her. Their conversations quickly become personal and they get to know each other outside of the business transaction. It’s honestly the kind of meet-cute that easily could have been really creepy if Krickitt hadn’t returned Kim’s feelings. I know most people meet completely by chance, but this is just SO random! Out of all the people in the world, he happens to order jackets from a girl that’s his perfect match and then they get in this terrible car accident that makes her forget her perfect husband!? OF COURSE THEY MADE THIS A MOVIE.

– I’m really weird & get excited when I recognize places in stories, I’m not sure why. I guess it helps me feel connected to the story. Henceforth, I was excited when Kim name drops Fullerton, CA & Phoenix, AZ. Krickitt went to Cal State Fullerton – I took a class there and the nearby junior college, so I felt like we were kindred spirits as I’ve possibly wandered the same areas of campus that she had once called home. I travel to Phoenix pretty frequently as I have family/friends there. Kim & Krickitt are traveling to Phoenix, where her parents live, when they get in their car accident. Krickitt spends part of her recovery at the Barrow Neurological Center in Phoenix. Like I said, it helps me feel connected to the story/people to know that we’ve probably driven down the same streets and seen the same things.

– I was a little peeved that the story was 99% told through Kim’s point of view. I understand Krickitt doesn’t remember their relationship before the accident and can’t speak on that subject, but I was interested to know what was going through her mind during the aftermath.

– Kim “doth protest too much”. He constantly assures the reader that the ONLY reason they decided to write the book/go on TV/be interviewed/agree to the film was to spread God’s word. I respect the Carpenter’s relationship with God, that they bonded over their faith, & it brought them peace after the accident. I’m fine with it in theory, I just didn’t know the story was going to revolve around religion so heavily. There’s no way to make this sound nice, so I’m just going to be honest, religion is just not for me. I was borderline uncomfortable with all the references to God. When Kim kept talking about how they didn’t want the attention/money that came with being famous, they just wanted to spread God’s word, I was rolling my eyes. They wrote a book! Obviously, they knew/hoped they’d be making SOME money. I’m not sure they were paid for any of their appearances, but if a Radio/TV station wanted them to appear badly enough, they certainly could’ve paid them. I can’t imagine anyone openly admitting they wanted to capitalize on the tragedy/miracle of their life, but it’s understandable that they would need money considering how expensive their medical bills must have been so I don’t think he needed to justify himself with the religious reasoning.
Another issue I felt Kim talked about way too much was divorce. He mentions numerous times that divorce was “not an option”, “never crossed their minds”, “never on the table”, “never discussed”, “not for them” – dude, we get it! You’re a solid guy that wasn’t planning on leaving your wife in her hour of need. You became famous because we live in a world where you get in a fight with someone and you leave them – and in the face of serious adversity – you both stayed. Granted, you did mention that there was a time you seriously doubted you could live under the same roof together, but you were going to stay married because you made promise to each other & God. I’m not sure how permanently living apart would’ve been much different than divorcing, but okay.

Rating: C
“The Vow” was a quick read for me & I can definitely understand why they chose to make it into a movie. I admire the Carpenter’s commitment to each other and their willingness to work through a very traumatic event. If you like romantic, inspiring tales of love conquering all, especially with a heavy helping of Christianity – this is the book for you.

Book Review! Fame by Daniel Kehlmann

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Fame

Read this post to see how many different times I write “I was confused” or some version of that…psst…about 14…

After reading the description on the back of the book, I was puzzled as to why I had put this on my book list because I was really not that intrigued by its description. Despite that, I decided to give this story a chance because at one time I obviously thought it was worth while. I WAS WRONG! Perhaps that’s too harsh/hasty…I will explain.
*Side note: When I read the back of the book again while writing this review, I was really interested in the plot presented, I have no idea why I was against it when I first read it. 

Plot:
Fame is translated from it’s original German, it’s considered “Central European literature”. There’s 9 stories that weave together, all starting with some random guy whose new cell phone has been programmed with a phone number that already belongs to someone – a famous movie star. His actions in regards to the calls set in motion a butterfly effect that touch the interweaving stories.

TL:DR Version: Confusing as all hell. Meant for readers a billion times more intelligent than myself. I recommend this only because I want someone to explain to me what this book is about. Rating: D (would’ve gone with F, but I feel I’m partially to blame for lack of understanding.)

Full Review
Initial Thoughts:
Ooh technology working against people to create mayhem and chaos! Sounds great, right?! It would be if I could follow the stories!! I like to think I’m smarter than your average bear and interested in concepts/reading materials that cover a wide variety of subjects. I read and enjoy Shakespeare, J.K. Rowling, Chelsea Handler, etc, and magazines from Glamour to The Hollywood Reporter (a trade magazine for the entertainment industry) to Newsweek…that’s probably enough name dropping, you hopefully get the point. Despite all this tooting my own horn and claims of mental superiority, I could NOT follow this book. A majority of my notes (yes, I take notes while reading a book I’m going to review), are me complaining that I have NO idea what’s going on. I can hardly provide spoilers for this novel because I don’t know how to explain the story. I feel bad reviewing Fame because I feel like in the hands of someone more capable this book would’ve been understandable, and they could give you a full review. However, due to my lack of clarity, I can’t really talk about this book – except to tell you how confused I was by it.

Characters:
The only character who really made an impression on me was the main character who sets everything in motion, Ebling. He is the biggest POS. Maybe my dislike for him is what made me so unreceptive to the rest of the story. Early in the story as we’re just getting to know him, he starts calling back people that have called for the celebrity. He ends up talking to a man on a suicidal rant, and doesn’t exactly encourage, but certainly doesn’t discourage this character from committing suicide. So on page 15 – I’m already not a fan.

Overall:
By page 28, I was in a fog. My exact note is “This all better make sense soon. I’m intrigued by how this all relates (maybe I’m missing something?) but I’m not necessarily enjoying the journey – hurry up!”. This book is only 175 pages. If I’m on page 28 and wishing for the book to end…it’s not a good sign. Again on page 65, another note about how deeply confused I am & wishing for the book to end. On page 79, my final note, I talk about one of the specific stories and how confused I am. I cannot begin to explain the specific story to you because as I’m sure you’ve noted…I might have been the tiniest bit lost. Maybe this is what people mean when they say “lost in translation”, maybe there’s some German aspect here that I don’t understand because I’m not familiar with their culture. I poured through this book quickly, desperately wanting to find something to enjoy about it, but my mind was stretched too thin trying to comprehend the material. I implore you, please! Read this book! Then come back here and tell me what the hell it was about.

Rating: D (I would give it an F but there’s some user error here, so the author’s not totally to blame for my inability to comprehend.)

Have you read Fame? What were your thoughts on the book or my review? Please leave a comment below, I’d love to know if I’m alone in these thoughts or not…

Evergreen Beauty Deals

Book Review! Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

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Oh my goodness – this book! Amazing! This novel was recommended to me by a family friend so it’s not a book that came from my book list unfortunately, I really need to start working on that, but still a great read none the less. My only gripe was with some of the story line choices at the end, but I’ll get to that eventually.

Plot:
This story follows a family through their matriarch’s battle with fitting in and how through a series of wild events she ends up missing. The family has to come together to figure out what happened to her and how to bring the family back together.

Initial Thoughts/Characters:
Where’d You Go, Bernadette? is classified as a “Missing Person/Mother & Daughter” story. I was somewhat skeptical because the daughter in the story, Bee, is barely a teenager and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to relate to the “plight” of today’s teenager. Wow, was I wrong! Bee is smart, sassy, and very mature for her age. She’s a lot more outspoken than I was at her age, but I definitely can identify with the way she stands up for herself and the relationship she has with her mom. Some of the altercations she gets into I can see myself getting into now as an adult, so at first I was a little thrown off that a child was getting into them, but in the context of the story it works.
I also adore Bernadette. For better or worse I see quite a lot of myself in this character. She means well but is eccentric and that leads to anti-social tendencies, not because she isn’t friendly or kind, but simply because she doesn’t wanna put up with other people’s shit. Like myself, she’s known for wearing her sunglasses at all times and drives a car that Bee refers to as “The Princess & the Pea” because it’s such a bumpy ride – much like how my car is named “Little Indy” after the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.

Overall:
These characters were extremely well crafted. You can tell Maria Semple put a lot of time and effort into creating her story. Each character is complex and 3 dimensional. The dialogue flows easily like a conversation between people you’d see every day.
This story kept me highly engaged. I couldn’t put it down. While some parts were slower than others, others literally had me yelling out loud, “Holy shit! I can’t believe this is happening!” However, then the story got really fantastical. I was slightly disappointed because the start of the story seemed so real and I felt such a connection to it but once it started to wrap up everything became so far from reality. At that point it started to feel like a typical fiction story where everything wraps up perfectly and it’s the happiest of endings for the main characters, not really reality.
Despite my distaste for the wrap up of this novel, the journey to get there was beyond exciting. I would highly recommend “Where’d You Go, Bernadette?”.

Favorite Quotes:
“The smallest [boat] has 150 passengers, which translates into me being trapped with 149 other people who will uniquely annoy the hell out of me with their rudeness, waste, idiotic questions, incessant yammering, creepy food requests, boring small talk, etc. Or worse, they might turn their curiosity toward me, and expect pleasantry in return. I’m getting a panic attack just thinking about it. A little social anxiety never hurt anyone, am I right?” – Bernadette (pg. 10)

“There isn’t assigned seating at the dining room, and they have tables for four. That means the three of us can sit down and if we pile the extra chair with our gloves and hats, nobody can sit with us!” – Bernadette (pg. 42)

“Maybe that’s what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place. I don’t know if it’s possible to feel everything all at once, so much that you think you’re going to burst…I felt so full of love for everything. But at the same time, I felt so hung out to dry there, like nobody could ever understand. I felt so alone in this world, and so loved at the same time.” – Bee (pg. 199)

Have you read this novel? Based on this review, do you have any interest in picking this up? Please let me know in the comments!

Book Review! The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

Posted in Book Review, Books, Review, Sunday Book Club by
Courtesy of goodreads.com

Courtesy of goodreads.com

As a huge Harry Potter fan, I was nervous yet excited to read other J.K. Rowling novels. I was a bit disappointed that this was so far down on my reading list, but fate stepped in & a family friend gave it to me to borrow, so that immediately bumped it to next on the list! I had somewhat high expectations but I didn’t know exactly what I was expecting, after all, this couldn’t be another Harry Potter, but I figured the writing would still be excellent, despite hearing from my mom, the person that lent me the book, and another family friend, that this novel was complete and utter rubbish. Without further ado…

Plot: No spoilers here. To spoil this book would take a post that would undo the fabric of the internet because it would be so long. There are about 8 million characters in this book, and they can be hard to keep track of. I ended the book only mixing up two couples still, which I think is pretty good, as I had everyone else, their looks and their backstory, pretty much nailed down.
At its core, the book revolves around a small town, the people that inhabit it, and what happens to them when a major member of their community suddenly passes away. This book deals with sex, drugs, death, professional malpractice, and all sorts of other sordid, depressing topics and only ends semi-happily. The stories revolve around teenagers, their parents, and their grandparents, but there are no real main characters. Each character bounces from page to page, sometimes Rowling wouldn’t full on reveal that the characters were interacting, she’d be telling the story of one character & say, for example, “A small boy watched from the corner of the room, frowning”, then in another chapter she’d say, “Robbie stood in corner, frowing” & it was up to you to realize, “Ooohh hey! He’s the small boy from that other chapter!” Not all of these references mattered, but it just solidified that they were from the same town and in each others lives, even if THEY didn’t realize it.

Thoughts: The idea that the people in the town didn’t really realize they were all connected brings me right into what I thought about the story. I think that’s really the message Rowling was trying to tell, that we’re all connected and everything we do touches the people in our community. One action or non action creates a string of events that can help or hurt someone further down the line. These people were mostly busy trying to tear each other down, they didn’t see how they were hurting their children, so the kids acted out, and didn’t realize how their actions would change the course of the futures around them. I think most of the characters thought they were doing the right thing. No one was particularly despicable to me or particularly likeable, they all just seemed like really real people. Stupid teens, gossipy old ladies, victims of unhappy lives. There were a few characters to root for, but you knew it was either going to end sadly, or way too bubble gum happy, neither a very satisfying ending, but for me, I’d choose realism any day.

One important topic I’d like to touch on was brought up by someone that read the book before me and referred to it as “pornographic” and thought the Rowling was trying WAY too hard to make the book adult, to the point that the material was disgusting & the reader could barely get through the book. Hmm…I’m not sure what other books this person is reading, but I have to disagree wholeheartedly! Yes, there’s sex, but it’s barely graphic! At most it’s like, “He got on top of her and the bed began creaking”, there’s no description of the acts or anything!
This book kept me thoroughly entertained, I couldn’t put it down. I stayed up most of a night trying to figure out what madness would happen next and what would happen to these characters. They characters themselves don’t really touch a place in my heart that made me care for them, but I guess I was looking at it from more of a writer’s perspective, like, where would Rowling take these stories next!? Yes, this is much different from Harry Potter, there is no magic here, only the cruel real world, but there is light at the end of this tunnel too. Despite the death and destruction caused by these characters, Rowling manages to show that there is good in everyone, we just have to look for it, and sometimes, help bring it out.
One other thing, the way this book is written is very visual to me, I could definitely see this as a movie & with Rowling’s history, that’s a very big possibility. It was funny though because I kept imagining certain characters as the Dursleys or students of Hogwarts, as portrayed in the Harry Potter films. Guess my imagination wasn’t working too hard on this one :/

Overall rating: B.