Monthly Archives: April 2015

Beauty Review! Sephora Mini Contour Makeover with @itsnellydee

Posted in Beauty, Collaborations, Make Up, New Products, Review, Sephora Treats, Shopping by

Hi everyone!
Today I’m going to be talking about the Mini Contour service that Sephora offers, plus introduce you to my new friend and Makeup Artist, Nelly.

As you can tell by my long hair in the pictures below, I had this service done about a month ago. I’m a VIB Rouge with Sephora & one of the perks is you can receive free Makeovers without having to make a minimum purchase. About a month ago, they were also promoting a free “Mini Makeover” specifically geared towards contouring. Before meeting Nelly, I had no interest in the Makeovers because of my experiences with other Sephora MUAs. Usually when I go to Sephora to try on make up, I don’t wear make up to the store. What’s the point? Why wear make up there, just to have to take it off? 9 times out of 10 this results in the Make Up Artists thinking I’m a high school kid, that I don’t know how to wear make up AT ALL, or that I don’t like wearing makeup. I’m by no means a professional, but I know how to apply my own make up & am always looking to learn & test new products or application techniques. I’ve found that because of these misconceptions when people put make up on me they tend to lean towards 2 extremes. One, they do a SUPER natural look, or two, they do something extreme to “shake things up”. When this happens I don’t feel like I’ve really learned anything because these generally are not looks I want to duplicate. Thankfully, this was not my experience with Nelly.

I went to Sephora at the Westfield Valley Fair Mall specifically to do the Mini Contour Lesson. I know above I said I wasn’t interested, but I specifically wanted to get some tips on Contouring & Highlighting. Plus, I knew I could report back to y’all about the experience and maybe save you some time if it wasn’t worth while. However, I had a wonderful experience with Nelly! If you’re able to make your way to Valley Fair Mall in Santa Clara/San Jose area to go see her – do it!

I appreciated that Nelly went out of her way to get to know me & my beauty routine. The Makeover is only supposed to take 15 minutes – but we definitely went over that.
– We talked about the makeup I wear & my skin type to determine what kind of contour/highlight products I should be using. I thought you used a cream based product to create the “war paint” look, blended everything, then set it with a bronzer/highlight powder. Nelly told me that on my oily skin that would be a quick way to see everything crease up and/or look cakey – my worst nightmare!
– We also talked about the brands of makeup I use to see if I liked their contour/highlight options. Mixing and matching brands is fun & fine, but I think it can be smarter to stick to the same brand of face products. Companies make their products with the idea that they all work best together, they want you to wear their entire line! This keeps the ingredients you put on your face consistent which is a good idea if, like me, you have very sensitive & acne prone skin. If you know a certain brand has face products that work for you, why introduce another brand that may use different ingredients and/or makes their product differently & risk having a bad reaction? Just my two cents & of course, I don’t always follow my own advice, haha!
– An important aspect of contouring Nelly taught me is warm vs cool tones. I knew about there was a difference, but never thought much about it. We tested a contour stick I recently received as a Sephora sample & was excited to start using, but unfortunately it was much too warm aka orange! This is how she explained it, you’re trying to create the look of shadows/depth/dimension on your face. Shadows will have more of a grey/cool look to them, not an orange/warm/tan look.
– I had a general idea of where to contour and highlight to slim my round face, but Nelly gave me some tricks that I found helpful. For example, two lines of highlight, hugging the contour on my cheeks, really make that chiseled cheekbone pop!

Here are some of the products Nelly & I discussed, it was a Smashbox kind of conversation 😀 Click on the links to purchase!
1. Sephora Collection Pro Angled Contour Brush #75 – Sold out as of this posting, but just add it to your Loves List or ask to be emailed when it’s in stock.
2. Smashbox Step by Step Contour Stick Trio
3. Smashbox Step-By-Step Contour Kit w/brush
4. Smashbox L.A. Lights Blendable Lip & Cheek Color in Hollywood & Highlight
5. Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Water

Below is the finished look! As I was not wearing make up Nelly was kind enough to apply a light Cover FX foundation before the contour/highlight lesson. To further complement my “no make up” look & attempt to stick to the timeline, she created a more natural contour/highlight & gave me tips on how to amp it up for a more dramatic look.

So there you have it! This review might seem a bit contradictory because I talked about how I don’t like extremely natural looks, & then that’s what Nelly did. I just want to clarify that I’m fine with this because Nelly & I talked about SO many things beforehand & I understood we were on a time crunch. I would have been peeved if I’d gone in expecting to come out looking like Kim Kardashian did my contour/highlight, and got a natural look. That’s not the case here. I knew the look would be very soft and subtle. I’m happy with my experience with Nelly – I left her a great review on my Sephora survey! – & I will go back to her for the other full Makeover lesson that comes as a VIB perk.
Please follow her on Instagram: @itsnellydee & go see her at Sephora at the Westfield Valley Fair Mall!
Tag me (Instagram/Twitter: @missal_leigh) in your before & after pics so I can see the amazing work she does for y’all!
Thank you so much for reading, please click the FOLLOW button on the top right of this page to be updated when I write a new post – stay tuned for a Review of the full Sephora Makeover!
Contouring

Health/Fitness/Review: Update & Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” Review

Posted in Collaborations, Fitness, Health, Review by

Hey everyone!
If you’ve been following my blog since January – what’s that? You’re not following me? How silly! There’s an easy fix for that! Just click the FOLLOW button at the top right of this page & you’ll be notified whenever I post something new. There, now that’s taken care of…This post will focus on updating y’all on The “Lowe” Down, the Health/Fitness plan I worked on with my friend Kylee Lowe (Instagram: @loveleeloe) and a Review of the Dr. Oz “3 Day” Cleanse. Get ready folks, it’s a long post…

In January when I moved home from SoCal I promised myself I was going to get in great shape before my 25th birthday – June 7th. I had (& still have) no job to take up my time and the added incentive of having a live in workout buddy in the form of my mom. I knew I needed to kick things up a notch so I worked with Kylee, who’s my go-to Fitness Guru. To read my previous posts about The “Lowe” Down which includes a Clean Eating Meal Plan and Exercise Routine click here, here, here, and here!

The plan we worked out was 4 weeks long & I promised to keep you updated at least once a week, but that didn’t happen & I apologize. The reason I decided to stop posting about my progress was because…there was no progress! After 3 weeks of eating clean and regular exercise, I actually gained weight! I was so upset! I had stuck to the plan Kylee created for me with only minor healthy modifications. I did struggle with the work outs because I didn’t really know what to do once I got to the gym – one of the downfalls of having your personal trainer in another state, but I still did some form of exercise at least 5 times a week! I’ve never really had a problem losing weight before. I just assumed I was heavy because I didn’t really care to be any other way. However, now that I was busting my buns in the kitchen & the gym – I was distraught to see the scale refusing to budge. This was an eye opening lesson for me. I can be an unsympathetic critic at times. In the past when I’d hear stories about people who “tried every diet but nothing worked”, I would scoff and roll my eyes. “Oh please,” I would think, “It’s basic science. Less calories in, more energy out, creates a deficit.” After seeing how hard I worked those 3 weeks with no loss in sight, I would like to apologize to anyone I have ever judged. We have no idea what’s really going on when we look at other people. We have no idea how far they’ve come, how hard they’re working, & honestly, none of that matters because it’s none of our business. Be supportive of others, but keep your eyes on your own path!

As I mentioned in my first Fitness related post, I’m fairly confident in my looks. Believe it or not, I’m in good health, my only issues stem from a lifelong minor kidney issue & injuries from cheerleading. I started this journey looking at it from a preventative angle. If I get fit now, when I find work and have less time, I’ll be at my optimum operating level. If I happen to gain weight, I’ll still be at a much healthier place than if I were to gain weight at my current state. With that being said, after not losing any weight & watching my mom lose 20 (!!!) pounds, my self esteem started to crumble. I am self destructive when I compare myself to others which I think stems from being overly competitive and a perfectionist. I TRY to have a relaxed attitude about other people’s lives because at the end of the day, to quote my favorite band, The Rocket Summer, “What’s right for me, might be not right for you”. For example, a majority of my friends graduated college at age 21 or 22, while I was still working towards my AA in community college. Sure, I felt a stab of anxiety that maybe my life was going nowhere & a hint of jealousy that they were accomplishing something major. Then I considered that they haven’t lived my life. We’ve walked very different roads and made different choices. With this in mind I’m able to keep some perspective and be genuinely happy for others while maintaining confidence in my journey. As I said earlier, be supportive of others, but keep your eyes on your own path! As you might imagine, being a teenager was Hell for me, haha! In my youth, I hadn’t quite developed the attitude I described above. Comparing myself to my friends put me in an extremely dark place that I would never like to revisit. However, while dealing with this weight loss issue, I saw shades of that darkness starting to creep out and I became extremely frustrated and emotional. I shared some of these frustrations with the personal trainer I worked with in SoCal and he helped me make some more healthy modifications to The “Lowe” Down.

Another month later and my weight loss was a grand total of….FOUR POUNDS! My faith in eating healthy and working out had been struck down. What was the point of not eating pizza and ice cream, and spending time at the gym instead of with friends, if all I had to show was a measly 1 pound a week?! NOT. WORTH. IT. Yes, I am aware that the healthiest way to lose weight is 1 to 2 lbs a week, but I want to be that person that loses 8lbs a month, dang it! On top of feeling emotionally disgruntled, I was also in near constant physical pain from injuring my hip somehow at the beginning of March. Seriously, it’s a mystery, I have no idea what I did. With my birthday goal date fast approaching, I did what any sensible person would do, work harder! I threw in the towel! Yes, I gave up! I spent a week eating Wingstop, pizza, Panda Express, Ice Cream, cookies & all sorts of indulgent foods & didn’t count one delicious calorie! However, a funny thing happened. In the midst of all that, I noticed…I didn’t feel good. I felt exhausted, sluggish, heavy, I needed naps in the middle of the day, my body was protesting, “Stop! What are you doing to me!?”. For the first time in my life…I have decided to listen to my body.

I can’t ignore the incredible negative difference I felt in that “Cheat Week” compared to when I was eating clean. My outside appearance may not show any remarkable changes, but my insides sure felt them & as I’m doing this for my health & not looks, that’s all that matters. So I’m back at it! My hip is STILL hurting, even after some time away from the gym, but I work out despite many other injuries, so I’ll just add this one to the list. I now have a much more realistic outlook. I’m not perfect, I love food, & putting so much pressure on myself to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date was adding more stress than was necessary. Now there are no goal dates, there’s a goal number but it’s sitting on the back burner. I started this new phase off with the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” which I will briefly review down below, but even while doing that – I ate pasta. SUE ME! My grandma makes amazing pasta but she hardly ever makes it anymore. Was I going to pass up the chance to enjoy her homemade cooking? NOPE! I don’t need a fit body to help me make money, or help me do my job (if I had one), or ensure the safety of others in some way. I’m doing this for me, & on the last day of my cleanse, my grandma made me some pasta, which may have been a little misguided on her part, haha!, but was a kind gesture nonetheless. If I were to die tomorrow, I would want to be remembered as someone that loved good food, valued the feelings of others, & appreciated the gestures they made. I’ll just have to kick butt in the gym a little harder than usual now!

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I know I can be long winded, but hopefully you found something in this post worthwhile. Please read below my short (I promise!) review of the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse”.

Credit to Dr. Oz

Credit to Dr. Oz

Review: I will come right out & admit – I “cheated” on this cleanse. Take my advice with a grain of salt, this is just my experience with it & how I made it work for me. I spaced all the drinks 2 hours apart.
– Disclaimer: I never drank the Green Tea, took the vitamins, or did the Detox Ultra Bath. I have a weird kidney issue that prevents me from drinking Green Tea, taking too many pills, and putting soap/salt/oils in my bath water. With that in mind, I knew this Cleanse would probably not yield weight loss results, so I was not expecting them. I was hoping to feel lighter and more energized, which I do, so I feel that it served its purpose. I have recommended this cleanse to friends.
– Day 1: The Lunch Drink was a bit hard to choke down because of the texture. I used my juicer for everything except the pineapple, coconut oil, & Almond Milk. I threw those 3 ingredients into my Magic Bullet then added the juice for a final blend, but it still resulted in a stringy, foamy texture. I didn’t drink the Snack Drink because I was feeling super full. Attempted to drink the Dinner Drink & absolutely could NOT manage. The Cayenne Pepper was so overpowering even though I put in less than the recipe called for. I couldn’t finish it, so I had chicken & veggies for dinner.
– Day 2: Fine until the Lunch Drink. This time I put everything in my juicer except the coconut oil & Almond Milk, but the texture was the same. For Snack & Dinner, I decided not to blend the ingredients at all and eat them as a salad or on their own. Cayenne Pepper is way more delicious sprinkled over Mango and Avocado than in a smoothie. I felt insanely tired this day. I think the 2nd day of a cleanse is always the hardest because your body is starting to figure out what you’re doing.
– Day 3: I decided to just eat the meals as stand alone foods or in a salad. This was much easier and tastier. I was happy to not waste any food. When I make a juice/smoothie & it turns out disgusting, I feel bad throwing it away. I’ll try to finish it but sometimes it makes me feel sick, so I’d rather toss it even though I hate watching my money go down the drain. Of course, tonight was the night of aforementioned Grandma’s Pasta, sorry I’m NOT sorry.

Okay, it’s finally over! You made it! Thank you for sticking with this post to the very end, what did you think? There was so much more I wanted to say, but I knew I was going on too much already. Have you ever experienced that emotional roller coaster that comes with weight loss or changing your lifestyle in general? Have you tried the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” or anything similar? Please let me know some good cleanses to try in the comments below! I think I’m going to try out a different cleanse every weekend…every month?…every now and then? I’m not sure, but I want to be the tester for y’all! Send me your thoughts, I’d love to chat! Thank you for reading…until next time!

Charity: Be Better Movement – Participant of the Week!

Posted in Charity, Collaborations, Health by

As y’all should know by now, I’ve been participating in the 52 Week Challenge with the Be Better Movement. You can read my previous posts about them here, here & follow my Instagram: @missal_leigh to see some of the previous challenges I’ve participated in! This week’s Challenge is to “Pay it Forward” – perform at least 3 acts of kindness like, pay for someone’s Starbucks, or donate your old blankets to your local pet shelter. Check out their website for more ideas!
Another reason you should head over to their website is…I was chosen to be the BBM’s “Member of the Week”. My interview is up now – click here or the picture below to read it! Scroll to the bottom of this post to read about the special treat we have lined up for 5 lucky MissAl-Leigh.com readers!
IMG_3823
Have you joined?! The BBM a great cause & the first FIVE people that contact me wanting to join will be able to use my very own special code to sign up for FREE! What are you waiting for? Hit that FOLLOW button on the top right to be notified of all my posts & message me here or through my email MissAl.Leigh@gmail.com to get that code! Thank you for reading & thank you to the Be Better Movement for this feature!

Charity & Review: Be Better Movement & Pantene Beautiful Lengths with Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design

Posted in Charity, Collaborations, Hair, Review by
Bye hair! Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, Be Better Movement

Bye hair! Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, Be Better Movement

Hello everyone!
Today I’m going to be talking about this week’s Be Better Movement Challenge, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, & my experience with Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design. For more info on the Be Better Movement, check out my previous post, here. A very brief reminder, the BBM is an organization that issues weekly challenges for participants to earn money for a monthly charity. For every challenge you participate in, you donate $1. If you post about the challenge on Social Media, you’ll donate $2! The challenges are supposed to help you better yourself in some way. Past challenges have included Phone Time Outs, Drink More Water, and Eat Ginger Root, among others.

This week’s BBM Challenge was to “Spoil Yourself”. The charity being supported this month is the UNICEF Tap Project. A lot of ideas sprung to mind when thinking about how I wanted to spoil myself this week – a shopping spree?! A mani/pedi?! A massage?! ALL OF THOSE THINGS?!? To keep my budget down, I decided to stick with an activity I already had planned – a much needed haircut. I kicked it up a notch by cutting off a good chunk of my hair and donating it. What better way to spoil yourself than by enjoying the feeling of helping two charities & getting a fresh new look?! On the recommendation of my friend Sara, I chose to get my hair cut at Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore with Rachel S., which I will review below. I have donated my hair to Locks of Love several times in the past, but this time chose to donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.

Pantene Beautiful Lengths is a collaboration between Pantene and the American Cancer Society. So far they have donated over 24,000 free, real hair wigs to the ACS Wig Bank to help cancer patients across the US! You must have at least 8 inches of strong, healthy hair that has not been bleached, permanently dyed, or chemically treated. You put your hair in a ponytail, or several smaller ponytails, and CHOP! Then you follow the mailing instructions, send your hair to PBL, and a few weeks later they’ll mail you a thank you card. That’s it! If you’re brave enough or don’t care about the length of your hair, this is a really wonderful way to help someone. Hair might seem like a silly thing, but remember, the things we take for granted, someone else is wishing for.

Back view. If anyone is wondering, I have very thick but fine hair with somewhat of a wave to it. I asked for an above the shoulder cut with soft, blendable layers, that was full & bouncy & didn't frame the face too much as I have a very round face which doesn't often work well with short hair.

Back view. If anyone is wondering, I have very thick but fine hair with somewhat of a wave to it. I asked for an above the shoulder cut with soft, blendable layers, that was full & bouncy & didn’t frame the face too much as I have a very round face which doesn’t often work well with short hair.

Even though I have donated my hair several times, I’m always nervous about making such a big change. I’m so glad my friend recommended Rachel at Classic Images. She took great care of me, I couldn’t be happier! She was trained at the Paul Mitchell School in Santa Barbara and has worked in a salon for 5 years. She is a Redken Color Certified Hairstylist & a Make-Up Artist. Check out her Instagram: @hairbyrachs for pictures of her work!
I appreciated Rachel’s willingness to walk me through every step of such a big hair style change. In the past, I’ve had stylists get annoyed as I scrolled frantically through my Pinterest Hair Board attempting to show them every inspiration picture. Click here to look at my Pinterest & see what I showed Rachel. (Please feel free to follow me – I’d love to be Pin Pals!) Rachel was patient and understanding. She looked at the pictures carefully then explained how she interpreted the style & how she was going to make that work for my hair. Rachel also does a great job with brow waxing. After I left the salon someone told me my brows were on point – literally one of my top 3 compliments to receive, haha! Overall, the salon is clean, has a nice atmosphere, & decent prices. I would highly recommend Classic Images and Rachel, I have left them a 5 star Yelp Review.

What do y’all think – are you a fan of my new hair? Have you ever donated your hair or will you now? Do some research on Locks of Love and Pantene Beautiful Lengths and see if donating is something you’d be interested in. Please sign up for the Be Better Movement 52 Week Challenge by clicking here – it’s a really wonderful organization! Also, please visit my new friend Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore next time you need to change up your hair or get your brows waxed – she’s also great at color, she did green & purple peekaboo highlights on my friend – so awesome! Tell her I sent you & be sure to tag me on Instagram/Twitter: @missal_leigh when you post your Before & After pics. I can’t wait to see what y’all do! As always, thanks for reading!

DIY Tutorial: Decorative Headband Holder!

Posted in Accessories, Art, Beauty, Crafts, DIY, Hair, Tutorial by
DIY Decorative Headband Holder

DIY Decorative Headband Holder

Hey y’all!
Today I’m doing a DIY Tutorial that will show you how to turn an Oatmeal container into a Decorative Headband Holder! This is a really super simple version of those more complicated tutorials you may have seen on Pinterest. My tutorial doesn’t require fabric, card stock, or any kind of glue. All you need is an empty, cleaned out 38 oz container of Oatmeal (or smaller if you’re crafting for a child), scissors, & duct tape in your preferred pattern/print/color!
This project is great for beginning DIYers, busy bees who don’t have a lot of time, those working with limited crafting space or crafting on a budget! As this is a pretty easy and safe craft – be careful with the scissors! – I think this would be a good project to do with crafty kiddos. I can see myself taking my little cousins on a trip to a craft store to pick out their favorite tape & spending some time crafting.
My basic Tutorial is very simple & allows for a lot of trial & error. If you make a mistake, rip the tape off and try again! If your container gets bent out of shape, take the lid off & pop out the dent! However, if you’re looking for something more, I’ve included some tips and tricks throughout that will help you spice this DIY up a bit! Let’s get Crafting!

Start wrapping the tape around horizontally, wrapping as you go. Cut the ends instead of tearing for a cleaner look.

Start wrapping the tape around horizontally, wrapping as you go. Cut the ends instead of tearing for a cleaner look.

Start by cleaning your Oatmeal container. I put the oats in a large Tupperware & dusted out any debris. I chose to start my tape alongside the seam of the container. Working in horizontal sections, wrap the tape around, as pictured. I worked one section at a time, pulling the tape as I wrapped rather than measuring or estimating how long each piece needed to be, but it’s up to you. I chose to overlap the pieces sometimes or start the sections in other areas to make the flowers match up so I didn’t create a uniform seam going vertically down. You can choose to line the tape up perfectly, but I don’t think that’s necessary because, really, who is looking that closely!? Most of your headbands will cover up the tape lines. If you’re using a less busy pattern, like maybe a chevron print, it would probably be more beneficial to match everything more closely as it will be more obvious if your rows disturb the pattern.

The base

The base

On the last row, I worked in smaller vertical sections to fully cover the base. As you can see it took me a few tries to make all the pieces the same size, but no one will see, so it doesn’t really matter. I covered the overlapping pieces with one last horizontal taping & the container is finished – next up, the lid!

I was considering leaving the lid bare, but the plain plastic just looked so odd in comparison to the flowers. I secured a small piece of the tape under the lip of the lid, folded it up, then down onto the top. Again, this took me a few tries to get all the same size, but it doesn’t really matter because you’ll cover it up. I covered any remaining plastic in sort of a patchwork style. I wasn’t too precise with this either because I’m pretty sure I’m going to find something to decorate the top with & mostly cover the tape, but I’m not sure what yet. There you have it – that’s it! I attached a few headbands of different types so you could get an idea of what this Headband Holder can do. I will most likely be making another holder so I can separate stretchy “gym” type headbands from the more standard non stretch type.

Did you enjoy this DIY Craft Tutorial? I think this is so fun & easy! It would also be really simple to spice this DIY up a bit by using E6000 Permanent Craft Adhesive or a hot glue gun and attaching a decoration to the lid, or securing the holder to the center of a cake plate for a fancy base.
Now that I’m thinking about it, you could create this same project, punch small holes down the side, insert pegs, and voila! – you just made a stand to hold multiple pairs of sunglasses. Or cover up a large gum holder like the Mentos containers, and use it to hold bobby pins/hair ties, or just have a fancy gum holder! Hmm…the wheels are turning!
What do you think of any of the ideas I listed above? Will you be trying out this DIY project? Please let me know in the comments below or tag me on Instagram/Twitter: @missal_leigh so I can see your finished product! Click the FOLLOW button on the top right to get an email notification when I write up my next DIY Tutorial – thanks for reading!

Book Review! The Happiness Project – January/February/March!

Posted in Book Review, Books, Health, Review, Sunday Book Club by

Click here to purchase The Happiness Project!


Hey all!
I’ve had this book on my To Read list for a long time & decided January 2015 was the perfect time to start a Self Actualization/Self Help book, ya know, “New Year, New You”. That turned out to be the best decision because the author, Gretchen Rubin, created The Happiness Project as a year long project. Each chapter is a reflection of goals she set for herself & how she spent the month working towards them. Rubin was a Supreme Court clerk, but decided to leave law to become a writer. The Happiness Project consists of her personal values and research she conducted on the subject of Happiness.

I connected with Rubin almost immediately because she talks about something that I often struggle with, waiting to start projects until her life is in just the right place. I have a tendency to do the same thing, as evidenced by the way I waited precisely until January 1st to start this year long project. Rubin ends up deciding there are no perfect circumstances & sometimes you just have to dive into things. Her desire to change her way of thinking motivated me to join Rubin on her Happiness Project, instead of just reading about it. Each month I will follow the goals & we’ll see how I do. Look for these reviews periodically as it will (obviously) take me a year to fully complete this review and project.

Below, you will find the Goals for January, February, & March, my review of the author’s experience, and what my own experience was. Click the FOLLOW me button on the top right to be notified by email when I post the next installment!

JANUARY
Goals: Sleep earlier, Exercise better, Toss/restore/organize, Tackle a nagging task, Act more energetic
Review: I enjoy Rubin’s writing, she’s sarcastic and sassy. We would be great friends or hate each other because we’re too similar. She’s pretty Type-A & I can be too. She talks about finding peace through having things in just the right order. My friends & family semi-seriously joke that I have OCD because while I’m not necessarily a neat freak, I can be VERY particular. Another thing we have in common is an “insatiable need for credit” (p 24). We want the gold star! We’re highly motivated by praise – I’m really giving away all my secrets – haha!
My Experience: January’s goals were a breeze as I had already made them my New Year’s Resolutions.  I had just moved back to my hometown & was an unemployed, recent college grad – it was the perfect time to focus on my health and sort through the belongings I had accumulated in recent years plus all the stuff waiting for me at my childhood home. I definitely felt better after getting my things in order (somewhat) & getting back into a healthy lifestyle.

FEBRUARY
Goals: Quit nagging, Don’t expect praise or recognition, Fight right, No dumping, Give proofs of love
Review: While this book is based on Rubin’s experience, she also delves into research she conducted, which I found interesting & somewhat troublesome. Something that struck a nerve for me was, “the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women” (p 52). I found this interesting because I don’t consider myself lonely & a majority of my friends are males because I don’t often find friendships with women fulfilling. The troublesome part of the research was that it relied heavily on stereotypical gender studies. For example, on p53 she talks about her husband not being a good listener, “[l]earning that men & women both turn to women for understanding showed me that Jamie wasn’t ignoring me out of lack of interest or affection: he just wasn’t good at giving that kind of support…[he] wasn’t going to have long discussions…[h]e didn’t want to spend hours pumping up my self-confidence” First of all, who WANTS to spend HOURS pumping up someone’s self confidence?! Second, why should we assume just because he’s male that he doesn’t want to have long discussions or isn’t a good listener? I know plenty of males that enjoy talking way more than I do & are way better listeners – that’s why we’re friends, because we complement each other. I understand there’s science behind these ideas, but if we want to grow as a society, we have to stop applying stereotypes to all men/women. Just learn about people & who they are.
My Experience: This month’s Goals were focused on Rubin’s marriage & I’m single, so I simply chose to apply the Goals to my friends and family. Following through was not as simple. I definitely struggled this month. I was especially nervous about “Don’t expect praise/recognition” because as mentioned earlier – I want that gold star! For example, as a “proof of love”, I bought my mom & myself passes to a ZUMBA studio. The instructor asked how we found them & my mom said, “We found you on Groupon”. Usually, this is where I would jump in & say, “Actually! I found the passes & bought them as a gift”, but I bit my tongue. I tried to consider these struggles as “what difference would it make?” issues. What difference did it make for the ZUMBA instructor to know that taking classes was MY idea, who cares!? Well, I care, but I guess that’s not the point. Another Goal I struggled with was “Quit nagging”. I found it hard to distinguish between nagging and giving a proof of love. Continuing with the ZUMBA example, in the past when my mom wouldn’t want to work out, I’d nag her about getting in shape, being healthy, etc. In an effort to not nag, when she didn’t feel like going to ZUMBA, I didn’t say anything. To me, it felt like I was uninvolved, the nagging was how I showed I cared. In this instance, not nagging worked because my mom found motivation on her own & didn’t feel like I was forcing her. In another instance, when I didn’t nag my friend about following through with something, feelings were hurt because she felt like I hadn’t been involved enough. You can’t please everyone!

MARCH
Goals: Launch a blog, Enjoy the fun of failure, Ask for help, Work smart, Enjoy now
Review: It was comforting to hear Rubin go through similar trials that I have experienced while blogging. A couple quotes from this month I took to heart are, “People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think. Even if [you do] something wrong on the blog, it [won’t] be a disaster” (p75). Also, “one of the biggest challenges posed by my blog was the doubt raised by my own inner critic…Was it egocentric to write so much about my own experience?…I didn’t want to be [a] novelist who spent so much time rewriting his first sentence that he never wrote his second…I needed to…[push] ahead without constantly second guessing myself” (p78).
My Experience: At first glance, I was feeling iffy about these Goals because I already write a blog (obviously), & failure & asking for help are not things I enjoy. The blog issue turned out to be a non-issue, because I’m still in the beginning stages of blogging, so it was easy to follow some of Rubin’s advice and start creating more content. I think I made great strides in terms of posting here more often, which has definitely made me happier and gotten my creative juices flowing as I try to plan my next post. I’ve been asking for help from others in the form of trying to find work & looking for companies that offer new bloggers support like the Bloguettes or Blogger Babes. I’m trying to enjoy the failure of being rejected from jobs, but that’s proving to be difficult. However, when I’m rejected, I try to think of it like “Woo hoo! Now I have more time to find an even more perfect job!”

Overall at this point, I can’t say I’m remarkably happier, but I feel like I’m challenging myself and growing along the way. Is that the same thing as Happiness? I’m not sure, & I think that’s what Rubin is aiming to find out. What do you think!? Have you enjoyed reading about The Happiness Project? Are you inspired to start a project of your own or follow along with me? Please let me know in the comments below! Remember, you can click the picture of the book at the top of this post and it’ll take you to all the Amazon listings – some sales are as low as one penny! Thanks for reading!