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Book Review! Douglass’ Women by Jewell Parker Rhodes

Posted in Book Review, Books, Review, Sunday Book Club by

Okay, this is going to be the last Book Review for a bit – I was reading like crazy for a while but now I have to catch up on other topics!

Initial Thoughts:
“Douglass’ Women” is a random $1 Store find – believe it or not! It wasn’t on my Book List but it sounded intriguing and I thought, “For $1, why not?!”. I’m not up to date on all the history about Frederick Douglass, especially his family life, so I’m not sure how much of this is true or fictionalized.

Plot:
The story of famous abolitionist, Frederick Douglass, as told from the point of view of the two women he loved most – according to this story. One, his wife, a free woman of color, Anna Murray Douglass & the other, his lover, an educated white German woman named Ottilie Assing. They battle each other over the years & eventually come to the realization that Douglass is the problem. Unfortunately, they’re both too invested to turn away so they spend the rest of their lives longing for a man that cannot give either of them what they truly want & deserve. The story shows the different ways people deal with love, grief, infidelity, and how those emotions can help us find ourselves, or tear us down. Essentially, the typical story of a cheater & the people they hurt along the way.

Characters:
– In the beginning, Anna is a woman with almost nothing to offer, except what Frederick wants most – freedom. Initially he is attracted to her potential and the future they COULD have together. Like most dreams, to make it a reality you have to put in effort. He didn’t want to put in the effort to build a future with Anna, he was more focused on building his future in the political world. Anna saw a much different future. She saw babies and a love to grow old with, not politics and traveling the world. They didn’t know each other long enough before jumping into a commitment to know that they just weren’t compatible because they wanted very different things. Anna is an extremely strong woman. Anna’s desire to be with Frederick was misguided from the beginning, but she stays committed & tries to make the marriage successful. She manages to persevere and raise her children with grace & dignity, despite the many “sins” her husband commits against her.
– Ottilie is a woman who offers Frederick everything, a whole world of formal education, fancy parties, powerful people, and social change. They are more compatible on a social and intellectual level. However, Ottilie’s obsessive desire to be with Douglass in a romantic way is their undoing. She gives him too much. He tries to resist at first, but she persists and shows him he can have his cake & eat it too. Obviously they live in a time where divorce wasn’t much of an option so she had to have known all along that he could only be with her legally once Anna died. What a risky game! Unfortunately, that is often the case when a woman agrees to become “The Other Woman”. In the beginning Ottilie comes across as villainous. She makes everything a competition with Anna, in her mind & in conversations with Frederick. However, towards the end, you see she was just lonely, insecure, & also misguided. Although she honestly should have expected it, when Frederick eventually betrays her too, she loses all sense of reason. To a certain extent her reaction is understandable because she’s centered her life around him, but that’s why you can’t build a life focused on someone else. If, most likely when, they leave you, you have nothing left.
– Frederick is tough to analyze. He comes off as a very rude, selfish, conceited, mean spirited man, but you have to understand that he spent his youth being treated less than human by slave owners. Earning his freedom allows him to pursue (almost) anything he wants & he wants it all. How can you blame him? However, despite his circumstances, I still feel like he had an ugly heart. He was always so focused on himself, even in the bedroom! During the sex scenes, which were very uncomfortable to read, his “sexy talk” consists of, for example, “I’m no slave” & “I’m equal to any man”. Uhhhh okay, a romantic moment with a lady isn’t really the time for this kind of talk – at least in my opinion, but what do I know!? Based on his character as described in this story, I have no warm feelings for him, despite his accomplishments. I’m not sure if the author is doing a historical figure a disservice or if she did the research to find that he really was not a great person in regards to his personal life.

Quotes:
Pg 225: Anna, “When I was most angry, I reminded myself Freddy fathered my children”, Ottile, “When I was most lonely, words failed to comfort me. Ideas can never be children”.
I think these two quotes sum up a great deal about these characters. Anna was angry with the way Frederick treated her. She used her position as a mother to help her cope. She couldn’t give Frederick a beautiful, educated wife to impress his colleagues with, but she gave him a family. Ottilie, on the other hand, was defined by her loneliness, that’s why she started the affair to begin with! While she could give Frederick the lifestyle Anna couldn’t, she couldn’t give him a family to continue on his legacy. That’s the draw of the two women. They both offered something completely different, a “special skill set”, that Frederick wanted.

Overall:
A sad story of two strong, educated in their own way, extremely different women that found themselves struck down in the name of love. This story shows the paths that love can lead us down & how they aren’t always as romantic as we envision them to be.

Rating: B
I enjoyed this book, although the sex was a little much for me. I guess you won’t find me reading “50 Shades…” anytime soon, haha! The reason for the B rating is simply because I wasn’t over the moon about this book. It was good, but not something I need to read again.

Have you read “Douglass’ Women”? If so, what are your thoughts? Did you find it enjoyable? I also recently reviewed “The Duchess” by Amanda Foreman – another book based on women in history, although that one was written as a Thesis so it’s more historically accurate. Do you have any book suggestions for me? Please let me know in the comments below!

Beauty Review! Ally’s Lashes & Skin Care – Eyelash Extensions

Posted in Beauty, Make Up, Review by

Today I’m going to be sharing with you my experience getting Eyelash Extensions and 1 Fill with Ally Nguyen of “Ally’s Lashes & Skin Care”. Look at the bottom of the post for Before and After pictures!

I gave my experience with Ally 3 stars. I’m not 100% sure what lashes I started out with, but the Refill was 10C/11C Natural Set. The application process is really easy and pain free, but overall I thought the results were just okay & I’m not a huge fan of the Refill process. I found Ally’s services through Groupon. She operates out of “Exotica Day Spa” in San Jose, off Alamaden Expressway. Through Groupon I paid $79 for a “Full Set of Eyelash Extensions + 1 Refill”. Regular prices online are listed with the options for Natural $59 + Refill $50, Full $79 + Refill $55, & Dramatic $99 + Refill $60, however Ally mentioned that she offered specials that were not listed online.

First Application:
As I mentioned above, the application process was easy & pain free. I thought Ally was nice & friendly, but at the same time, she’s a salesperson, which I understand to a certain degree. She’s trying to make money to support herself so she definitely will try to upsell you the other Lash Packages. Unfortunately she does so in a way that I found very confusing and I’m not sure I can even properly describe here. She asked if I wanted Long, Full, or Natural. I told her I had the Groupon but wanted to discuss a game plan that would make my lashes look long & full, but still natural-ish, like I was wearing a pair of “Natural” False Eyelashes. That sounds contradictory, but if you wear False Lashes, you know what I mean. There’s a way to wear them that just amplifies & doesn’t look over the top, but there’s also a way to wear them that is dramatic & people know you have on Falsies, it all depends on what look you’re going for. I work in a fairly conservative office, so I didn’t want my lashes to look too crazy. She didn’t seem eager to listen to my game plan, she just kept insisting I pick a package and that my Groupon only offered so much & if I wanted them to be more Full or more Long I’d have to pay to jump up to the “Dramatic” Package. I understood all of that, but she was throwing so many figures and terms out that I became overwhelmed & decided to do ONLY what the Groupon offered. Having something written down would’ve definitely helped me make a more informed decision, but she told me later she doesn’t write down her prices because “her regulars know what she charges”. I found this odd because I’m not a regular so how am I supposed to know what’s going on? Later I found prices written down online, so I really don’t understand what she meant by that statement. I will address my thoughts on Ally’s personality in another section below.

Refill:
Ally makes you schedule a Refill appointment in 3 weeks or she doesn’t consider it a Refill – it’s another Set. I understand this logic, she doesn’t want ALL your lashes to fall out & then you come in for the “Refill” so she has to do the work of a Set at the price of a Refill. However, my lashes hadn’t really fallen out enough to warrant a Refill so I basically had a complete Set & then we added another set on top. Obviously I’m not a professional, but that’s what it felt and looked like to me. While my lashes were super thick and full, which was great for pictures, in real life they kind of looked like a bushy, tangled mess after a few days. While there were never any negative comments in general, only one person mentioned they noticed the original set. After the Refill at least 3 people made comments, something along the lines of, “Oh my gosh wow, you’re eyelashes are so…big!” etc. I was happy people noticed a change, yet at the same time, I felt uncomfortable because I wasn’t sure if they noticed because they liked them or because they were too over the top. The Refill lashes felt very hard & rubbery, which I didn’t notice at all during the first application. No butterfly kisses with these babies! Also, they fell out in clumps, no joke about 5 minutes ago, I had a clump of 5 fall onto my laptop. It does not appear that my natural lash came out with the clump so I’m guessing the glue dried up…? The most annoying thing about the Refill Lashes was that when they fell out, a majority of them got caught in the other lashes. I’d have this random clump tangled up among my other lashes and I’d have to pick it out with tweezers to avoid pulling any lashes that were still attached. It was a strange thing to experience.

Personality:
I’ve noticed in other reviews people have made comments about her personality and to some extent I think that’s unfair because the review is supposed to focus on the service you received. However, I realize that no one wants to give their hard earned money to someone they don’t like, so here’s a few things I noticed. My mom also had lash extensions done & we had totally different experiences. She felt that Ally was very quiet. When I was getting my lashes done, Ally played music on her phone & we had a great time chatting. I can’t say for sure why she acted differently, maybe she felt more comfortable with me because I’m young & we have the same name, haha! I was kind of uncomfortable during the Refill conversation because some of the things we talked about totally contradicted things she mentioned in our first meeting. Like I said, what do I care? She’s not my friend, it doesn’t matter to me what stories she tells about her personal life, but it was odd. As mentioned above, she is pretty direct about upselling. She communicates through text which I really appreciated because it’s annoying to play phone tag with someone when trying to make an appointment.

Overall:
As I mentioned above, I would rate my experience overall 3 stars. Based on my experience with Eyelash Extensions thus far, I could take them or leave them. I’m not absolutely in love with them, but I do enjoy having them because they’re pretty and convenient – for the most part. I was disappointed in the feel of the Refill lashes and the tangled mess situation. While I found Ally to be a…unique personality, I thought she was professional and polite enough. My main reason for not becoming a regular customer of hers is simply that I don’t see the need for eyelash extensions on a regular basis.

What do you think? Where do you fall on the Lash “spectrum”? – Do you have Eyelash Extensions, wear False Lashes, or just go with regular mascara? Let’s chat in the comments! Look below for my before and after picture! Thanks for reading 🙂

Eyelash Extensions with Ally Nguyen

Eyelash Extensions with Ally Nguyen

Book Review! The Duchess by Amanda Foreman

Posted in Book Review, Books, Review, Sunday Book Club by

Hi everyone! Today I will be reviewing a novel called “The Duchess” written by Amanda Foreman. This is a pretty hefty book, clocking in at almost 400 pages with about 40 pages of Notes in the back. To keep the length of this post down, I tried to keep the re-telling of the story to a minimum and spoilers at bay. This is basically exactly what my notes were as I read. Without further ado…

Initial Thoughts:
Foreman wrote this biography based on her doctoral thesis & is supposedly the only person to have ever turned their thesis into a best selling biography.  I thought this was commendable as I’m considering going to Grad school, but the idea of having to write a thesis is very overwhelming. I admire Foreman’s dedication to her education and her passion for the topic. I wanted to read this to get an idea of what a thesis looks like and I wanted to find out more about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. I had seen advertisements for the film, “The Duchess”, many years ago when it was released and thought the plot seemed intriguing, but wanted to read the book first.

Plot:
“The Duchess” is the biography of Georgiana Spencer Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire, circa 1774. She was the great-great-great-great-aunt of Princess Diana of Wales and was just as big a celebrity. The biography, obviously, tells the story of Georgiana’s life and the dichotomy of her public and personal life. From the outside looking in, Georgiana had it all, money, fame, and popularity. Inside, she was a deeply unhappy woman, plagued by years of insecurity and people pleasing that led her down a dark road of addiction and misfortune. It’s pretty interesting how popular and involved in shaping history she was, yet I’ve never learned about her. Foreman addresses some reasons that shed light on how history has been RE-WRITTEN by our ancestors and we’re not always getting the full story about how things happened. I guess this bio is good for conspiracy theory fans too, haha!

Characters:
– Georgiana Spencer Cavendish is obviously the main character. We share a birthday, June 7th, woo hoo! separated by a few hundred years. When her father died he left behind a fortune that today would equal $74 million, so she was certainly well off and used that money to educate herself in several avenues. Georgiana was like 1700’s Barbie, she did everything. Not only was she involved in politics, fashion, etc, she was a published author, and also “…an amateur chemist & mineralogist of note…” (p 269), among other accomplishments. She openly participated in political campaigning even though it brought her much negative attention. For every person that admired her involvement, there was someone else smearing her name. Despite her wealth, education, and popularity, you have to feel bad for this woman’s personal life. Her husband had a child by a mistress before he & Georgiana were even married. Their marriage was a train wreck, they both cheated, had children with other partners, and came very close to divorcing which was practically unheard of then.
– The Spencer, Cavendish, and other popular families of the time remind me of the Kardashian family. Super wealthy, spoiled, the center of attention and scandal, involved in each other’s business – & that’s just the way they wanted it.

Quotes:
– A passage on page 153 shows how attacks on women haven’t changed much in hundreds of years. It lists specific reasons Georgiana was so heavily criticized by certain members of the public for her political involvement. She was criticized for bringing “her own personality to the campaign in an era when the only women who had public personas were actresses & courtesans…”. There were also double standards between her and male campaigners. For a male to associate with the common people and treat voters as equals earned him the title of “Man of the People”. When Georgiana did the same & earned the title, a “Woman of the People”, it meant she was a whore.
– In a way, the reader never really gets to know Georgiana because everything she did was scrutinized & she had to act a certain way. For example, in a one letter, she writes about how the last few months were the best of her life, then at the end of the letter she complains that she’s never been sadder (p 273). Her emotions ranged so wildly, it was hard to tell how she genuinely felt or if she was just acting.
– P 382 gives a very inspiring and flattering description of Georgiana, listing all her accomplishments and contributions to society. She should be proud to be remembered that way & you can clearly see why Foreman was so passionate about her.

Overall:
– This biography is not for everyone. It’s certainly not light reading for most. I found it hard to keep track of the family trees, relationships, and the timeline of Georgiana’s life. There are huge sections of history information, and while I understand its inclusion, it’s not what I wanted to read about. I wanted to get to the juicy stuff about Georgiana!
– Another aspect of the book I found hard to follow were the footnotes. The print was super small and you had to find the correct footnote that corresponded with the number in the main text – it was a lot of back and forth reading of small print. Why not just include the footnote in the main text? I figured that’s the way a thesis is set up, but I’m not sure.
– While the historical content did become overwhelming, I did enjoy learning about the way women’s rights and family dynamics have changed, or not, since Georgiana’s time.

Rating: B-
Honestly, this book didn’t do much for me because I was more interested in the woman, not the time period and you get “too much” of the latter. I can’t fault Foreman for that, she did an amazing job doing her research, I just wasn’t terribly interested. As I mentioned above, this biography is best suited for someone that has a genuine interest in the time period and political happenings within it, not solely interested in Georgiana’s life. I gave it a low B because I admire Foreman’s work, but I couldn’t get past the abundance of historical material rather than focus on Georgiana’s personal life, so the story didn’t really grab me. I feel like I would be more interested in the film version of the bio which of course will be highly sensationalized to grab viewer’s attention.

Have you read “The Duchess”? Have you ever heard of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire? Please share your thoughts on this review or the biography in the comments down below! As always, I welcome any and all book suggestions you might have – until next time, hit that FOLLOW button on the top right to stay updated with all my posts!

Movie Review! Pitch Perfect 2

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As I’ve discussed here before, I grew up doing musical theater, acting, and cheerleading, among other performance based activities. Whenever a film comes along that touches on any of that, I’m usually super psyched to see it. Yes, “Bring It On” is one of my favorite movies – although I don’t care for any of the films that followed. That seems to be the trend. I love the first “Pitch Perfect”. I really connected with the plot and especially Anna Kendrick’s character, Beca. She has the perfect amount of sass and sarcasm, yet shows a lot of heart & dedication to the Barden Bellas, which I identify with in regards to my 10 years of cheerleading experience. I really wanted to love “Pitch Perfect 2”, but unfortunately, I just couldn’t. I’m sure my opinion will not be popular, but please read below for my list of Likes, Dislikes, Final Thoughts, and Rating! Don’t be shy – click the FOLLOW button on the top right of this page to be notified when my next post goes up 🙂

Likes:
– I empathized with Beca’s attitude towards the Bellas. She was appreciative for the experiences they’d had together, but felt it was time for her to move on. She felt torn between dedicating her time to the “last hurrah” and her future. I understand how she felt. During the end of my time cheerleading, I started to feel like the near constant injuries I was sustaining didn’t make sense to tolerate anymore. I knew I wasn’t going to be a cheerleader forever, or even in college, so why permanently injure myself over something that wouldn’t be permanent in my life? It’s hard to come to terms with those emotions, so I applaud PP2 for taking on that storyline.
– The scenes that took place at Beca’s Internship were the funniest parts of the film.

& that’s it. That’s literally it.

Dislikes: There are so many things I disliked about this film. SO MANY.
– The story seemed undeveloped. I loved the first Pitch Perfect because you really got to know all the characters and their quirks. You hardly see Jesse – Beca’s boyfriend. You hardly learn any new information about any of the characters.
– I was disappointed with Flo, who is basically a Guatemalan version of Lilly, a strange, awkward non-white character thrown in to up the count of non-white actors. However, does it really count as being inclusive, broadening your casting, & having a multi-racial cast if all the character does is reinforce negative stereotypes of their race?
– The “love story” between Bumper and Fat Amy. They could have turned that into a substantial storyline about how Fat Amy was afraid to get into a relationship because she didn’t want to lose her independence or because she wasn’t sure where her life was going after college, etc. Nope. They just created a cheesy, dramatic, excuse to throw in another 80’s throwback love song, like they did with “Don’t You Forget About Me”. However, the inclusion of “Don’t You…” was well executed because it made sense with the rest of Beca & Jesse’s story – and yes, it reminded me of “Bring It On” when Torrance includes the songs from Cliff’s Mix Tape into the Toro’s competition routine. You don’t often see “big girls” involved in love stories, so I was (again) disappointed that they chose to make Fat Amy’s love story sloppy and uncomfortable.
– I didn’t appreciate the substantial number of jokes aimed at women.  A few I remember off the top of my head were the classic, “Women belong in the kitchen”, “This is why we shouldn’t send women to college”, “I’ll do whoever it takes”, and one character’s plan to become “A music teacher in a 3rd world country, or an exotic dancer. Whatever pays more!” Really? In a movie marketed towards young woman, the target audience is being subjected to jokes that put us down. I’m so glad I paid money for this! Seriously, if I wanted to subject myself to BS like this I’d just look around the Internet for free.
– The classless jokes didn’t end there. This film covered the gamut of sensitive topics, poking fun at Thailand “Lady Boys” (their words, not mine!) and the Gay/Lesbian community, among others.
– A plot point I didn’t understand (SPOILERS!!!!): The Bellas lost the private Sing-Off because Emily sings an original song & everyone is yelling at her that “Acapella doesn’t do originals, we’re supposed to do covers” etc…but then they (SPOILER!!!!) win Worlds, by singing the same original song…?!? Wha!? There’s no consistency, unless, the story writer was trying to imply that the world of Acapella was old school & the judges appreciated them trying something new…? This could be, but was not explained in the film. I’ve never experienced anything like that. I understand cheerleading is a different beast altogether, but we usually were penalized for doing “new” things, because the judges were typically older people that had been involved in the community for a long time. They didn’t like twerking and Top 40 songs, they preferred “Oldies” and moves that focused on technique. I don’t understand how something that was criticized earlier in the film, helps them win in the end with no explanation. Maybe I missed something…?

Final Thoughts & Rating:
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m capable of laughing at plenty of stuff that offends other people, but this film pushed too hard and it didn’t seem genuine or in line with the previous film. I’m fine with films like the Jackass series, you know they’re going to be offensive, you expect it. I did NOT expect this type of material from PP2. It seems like they can’t decide who their audience is. Pitch Perfect 1 was a nice, happy, girl power, family film, but PP2 did a complete 180 and distanced themselves from that. They were trying to be “hard/edgy” & have a Borat like set up where they wanted to offend as many people as humanly possible just to be “funny”. Overall, I thought this film was full of crass jokes that took aim at people who are different for cheap laughs. I loved the first Pitch Perfect because it was inclusive. It was a film about a group that often gets made fun of and their hard work goes unappreciated. A group of misfits that banded together to create a family. PP2 ruined all of that and was just another run of the mill, over the top, teen “comedy”.
My Rating: D

What do you think? Am I being too harsh or taking things too seriously? Did you like Pitch Perfect 2? Hopefully my review gave you some food for thought. I’d love to know what y’all thought of the film and my review! Please shoot me an email, or write me a comment down below! Thanks for reading 🙂

Book Review! Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

Posted in Book Review, Books, Review, Sunday Book Club by

Click on the book to go to Amazon and order your copy now!

OH MY GOSH! I’m FREAKING OUT over this book. It’s seriously THAT GOOD! I’m so stinking excited to talk to you today about “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”. The inspiration for this book is really unique. Ransom Riggs, the author, started collecting vintage pictures from thrift stores & flea markets. He felt such an intense curiosity to know the story behind these anonymous pictures that, rather than settle for never knowing, he created his own fantastical stories to explain what was going on in the photos. There are several odd photos placed in the book that you would think are Photoshopped, but are real pictures he found while writing. According to Riggs’ website, this series – there are 3 Miss Peregrine novels, the last one slated to be released September of this year – is being made into a film by Tim Burton. OF COURSE IT IS. I’m not a huge Burton enthusiast, but he’s a perfect choice in this case. Okay, onto the review. I’ll try my best to limit the spoilers because I really do want you all to read this book. Really, like right now, click on the picture of the book above & buy it from Amazon. However, if you insist on reading my full review before buying it, it’s fine, I guess. Here we go!

Plot: Jacob grows up idolizing his tall tale telling grandfather, Grandpa Portman. He grows disillusioned as a teenager when he realizes that Grandpa Portman’s stories about being shipped to an orphanage in Wales, a magical place where no one ever got sick or died & was protected by a woman who could turn into a bird, could not possibly be true. Tragedy strikes & through a series of insane events Jacob is forced to admit that Grandpa Portman’s stories were much more real than he previously believed. He embarks on a whirlwind adventure full of magic, danger, romance, and self discovery.

Initial Thoughts: I had no expectations going into this novel. I wasn’t even really sure what genre it was, fantasy, sci fi, children’s literature, zombies, all of the above? Right off the bat, Grandpa Portman tells stories of monsters in Poland circa WWII & I was thinking, “Hmm, real monsters or is this a veiled reference to the Nazi Party? What are we dealing with here?” The answer is, to a certain degree, both! After finishing the first two pages, I wrote a note, “I’m so excited to read this book, will I have nightmares?! Am I ready to welcome another series into my life?! I’m already in a very committed, long term relationship with Harry Potter..”. Riggs’ writing already had me hooked.
I was reminded of the movie “Big Fish”. If you’ve never seen it, you’re living life all wrong. “Big Fish” is easily one of my top 10 favorite movies.Everyone loves it, Yellowcard even wrote a song about it called “How I Go” which makes me weep every time I hear it. The bottom line is it’s an amazing film directed by Tim Burton (a pattern is emerging) about a man with a strained relationship with his father. The father always tells amazing, wild stories of his youth which the son stopped believing a long time ago. Through flashbacks you’re swept up in the father’s magical stories & in the end the film is really about how we stay in the hearts of those we love, even when we’re not around anymore. That’s all I’ll say, seriously, you should watch it. Back to the review…

Characters: Jacob is a wonderful character, well developed, & different from other characters in YA Fiction, which is technically the book’s genre. Usually I’m annoyed by teenage characters, but not Jacob. He admits to being odd, scared, & not macho, but continues on his adventure because he’s inspired by the life of someone he loved. I love that he cries! It’s rare to find young male characters so in touch with their emotions.
A character that helps my “Big Fish” tie in, is Emma Bloom. The main character in “Big Fish” is named Edward Bloom. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence but it made me happy to continue the connection between the two stories.

Quotes – SPOILERS HERE!!!:
– Not necessarily a quote, but on page 48 there’s a passage describing how Jacob’s family deals with the aftermath of Grandpa Portman passing away. If you’ve ever had to go through someone’s belongings after they’ve passed away – you will totally identify with this scene. Riggs writes the most accurate description of that process that I’ve ever read.
– pg 108, Jacob talks about how WWII has changed his family history. It’s kind of a long passage but I thought it was really powerful. “I thought about how my great-grandparents had starved to death…their wasted bodies being fed to incinerators because people they didn’t know hated them. I thought about how the children who had lived in this house had been burned up & blown apart because a pilot who didn’t care pushed a button. I thought about how my grandfather’s family had been taken from him, and how because of that my dad grew up feeling like he didn’t have a dad…[a]ll because of a 70 year old hurt that had somehow been passed down to me like some poisonous heirloom & monsters I couldn’t fight because they were all dead, beyond killing or punishing or any kind of reckoning. At least my grandfather had been able to join the army & go fight them. What could I do?”

Overall: I’m sure you can tell I loved this book with a serious passion. My one hiccup was the romance between Emma & Jacob. No Spoilers, but given her past, the romance between them was slightly uncomfortable for me. The twist near the end threw me for a loop! Again, to avoid spoilers, that’s all I’m going to say. My note literally reads, “Holy effin shit! Holy effin shit! I knew he was suspect but never expected THIS! The nightmares are gonna be so real tonight”. I have referenced nightmares a few times, but please don’t be afraid, I’m mostly being dramatic. While the story was intense, it tied into many other works of fiction that I have a soft spot for. As previously mentioned, “Big Fish”, but also “Peter Pan” because of the whole children on an island that never grow old aspect, “Harry Potter” because of the magic, plus Jacob & Harry seem like kindred spirits, they never know the important details until it’s too late & they’re left to fight on in the memory of those who inspired them, & “Supernatural”, because Grandpa Portman was a hunter, an absent father out fighting darkness, & Jacob continues on the family business. So if you like any of those things – you should enjoy this story.

Rating: A+! Obviously!! After all that raving could I really have given this book any other rating?! “Miss Peregrine’s…” was highly entertaining and engaging. I literally couldn’t put it down & finished reading it in about 3 or 4 hours. I realize a second more thorough reading may reveal plot holes or annoyances in the character’s personalities I didn’t notice before, but this first reading was pure joy. This novel was everything I look for in a “A+” work, well written characters & an engaging, relatable story that was able to suck me in, take me away, & make me care about everything it had to offer. I am definitely looking forward to reading the second installment in the series, “Hollow City”. I would also be interested in prequel books featuring Grandpa Portman’s adventures during WWII – maybe I should write a letter to Riggs suggesting that, haha!

Have you read “Miss Peregrine’s…” or the second novel “Hollow City”? Are you enjoying this series as much as I am?! If you haven’t heard of this series before, what do you think, will you give it a try? Please let me know what you thought of this review in the comments below! Send your book recommendations my way & I’ll add them to my list of Books to Read! Please click the FOLLOW button on the top right of this page to be notified by email when I post my next Book Review. Thanks for reading, until we meet again!

Yelp Review! Salon Salon – Waxing Services

Posted in Beauty, Collaborations, Review, Yelp by

Hey everyone,

I just posted a Review to my Yelp page about some waxing services I received at Salon Salon in San Jose. Click here to check it out! Thanks for reading!

Beauty Review! Sephora Mini Contour Makeover with @itsnellydee

Posted in Beauty, Collaborations, Make Up, New Products, Review, Sephora Treats, Shopping by

Hi everyone!
Today I’m going to be talking about the Mini Contour service that Sephora offers, plus introduce you to my new friend and Makeup Artist, Nelly.

As you can tell by my long hair in the pictures below, I had this service done about a month ago. I’m a VIB Rouge with Sephora & one of the perks is you can receive free Makeovers without having to make a minimum purchase. About a month ago, they were also promoting a free “Mini Makeover” specifically geared towards contouring. Before meeting Nelly, I had no interest in the Makeovers because of my experiences with other Sephora MUAs. Usually when I go to Sephora to try on make up, I don’t wear make up to the store. What’s the point? Why wear make up there, just to have to take it off? 9 times out of 10 this results in the Make Up Artists thinking I’m a high school kid, that I don’t know how to wear make up AT ALL, or that I don’t like wearing makeup. I’m by no means a professional, but I know how to apply my own make up & am always looking to learn & test new products or application techniques. I’ve found that because of these misconceptions when people put make up on me they tend to lean towards 2 extremes. One, they do a SUPER natural look, or two, they do something extreme to “shake things up”. When this happens I don’t feel like I’ve really learned anything because these generally are not looks I want to duplicate. Thankfully, this was not my experience with Nelly.

I went to Sephora at the Westfield Valley Fair Mall specifically to do the Mini Contour Lesson. I know above I said I wasn’t interested, but I specifically wanted to get some tips on Contouring & Highlighting. Plus, I knew I could report back to y’all about the experience and maybe save you some time if it wasn’t worth while. However, I had a wonderful experience with Nelly! If you’re able to make your way to Valley Fair Mall in Santa Clara/San Jose area to go see her – do it!

I appreciated that Nelly went out of her way to get to know me & my beauty routine. The Makeover is only supposed to take 15 minutes – but we definitely went over that.
– We talked about the makeup I wear & my skin type to determine what kind of contour/highlight products I should be using. I thought you used a cream based product to create the “war paint” look, blended everything, then set it with a bronzer/highlight powder. Nelly told me that on my oily skin that would be a quick way to see everything crease up and/or look cakey – my worst nightmare!
– We also talked about the brands of makeup I use to see if I liked their contour/highlight options. Mixing and matching brands is fun & fine, but I think it can be smarter to stick to the same brand of face products. Companies make their products with the idea that they all work best together, they want you to wear their entire line! This keeps the ingredients you put on your face consistent which is a good idea if, like me, you have very sensitive & acne prone skin. If you know a certain brand has face products that work for you, why introduce another brand that may use different ingredients and/or makes their product differently & risk having a bad reaction? Just my two cents & of course, I don’t always follow my own advice, haha!
– An important aspect of contouring Nelly taught me is warm vs cool tones. I knew about there was a difference, but never thought much about it. We tested a contour stick I recently received as a Sephora sample & was excited to start using, but unfortunately it was much too warm aka orange! This is how she explained it, you’re trying to create the look of shadows/depth/dimension on your face. Shadows will have more of a grey/cool look to them, not an orange/warm/tan look.
– I had a general idea of where to contour and highlight to slim my round face, but Nelly gave me some tricks that I found helpful. For example, two lines of highlight, hugging the contour on my cheeks, really make that chiseled cheekbone pop!

Here are some of the products Nelly & I discussed, it was a Smashbox kind of conversation 😀 Click on the links to purchase!
1. Sephora Collection Pro Angled Contour Brush #75 – Sold out as of this posting, but just add it to your Loves List or ask to be emailed when it’s in stock.
2. Smashbox Step by Step Contour Stick Trio
3. Smashbox Step-By-Step Contour Kit w/brush
4. Smashbox L.A. Lights Blendable Lip & Cheek Color in Hollywood & Highlight
5. Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Water

Below is the finished look! As I was not wearing make up Nelly was kind enough to apply a light Cover FX foundation before the contour/highlight lesson. To further complement my “no make up” look & attempt to stick to the timeline, she created a more natural contour/highlight & gave me tips on how to amp it up for a more dramatic look.

So there you have it! This review might seem a bit contradictory because I talked about how I don’t like extremely natural looks, & then that’s what Nelly did. I just want to clarify that I’m fine with this because Nelly & I talked about SO many things beforehand & I understood we were on a time crunch. I would have been peeved if I’d gone in expecting to come out looking like Kim Kardashian did my contour/highlight, and got a natural look. That’s not the case here. I knew the look would be very soft and subtle. I’m happy with my experience with Nelly – I left her a great review on my Sephora survey! – & I will go back to her for the other full Makeover lesson that comes as a VIB perk.
Please follow her on Instagram: @itsnellydee & go see her at Sephora at the Westfield Valley Fair Mall!
Tag me (Instagram/Twitter: @missal_leigh) in your before & after pics so I can see the amazing work she does for y’all!
Thank you so much for reading, please click the FOLLOW button on the top right of this page to be updated when I write a new post – stay tuned for a Review of the full Sephora Makeover!
Contouring

Health/Fitness/Review: Update & Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” Review

Posted in Collaborations, Fitness, Health, Review by

Hey everyone!
If you’ve been following my blog since January – what’s that? You’re not following me? How silly! There’s an easy fix for that! Just click the FOLLOW button at the top right of this page & you’ll be notified whenever I post something new. There, now that’s taken care of…This post will focus on updating y’all on The “Lowe” Down, the Health/Fitness plan I worked on with my friend Kylee Lowe (Instagram: @loveleeloe) and a Review of the Dr. Oz “3 Day” Cleanse. Get ready folks, it’s a long post…

In January when I moved home from SoCal I promised myself I was going to get in great shape before my 25th birthday – June 7th. I had (& still have) no job to take up my time and the added incentive of having a live in workout buddy in the form of my mom. I knew I needed to kick things up a notch so I worked with Kylee, who’s my go-to Fitness Guru. To read my previous posts about The “Lowe” Down which includes a Clean Eating Meal Plan and Exercise Routine click here, here, here, and here!

The plan we worked out was 4 weeks long & I promised to keep you updated at least once a week, but that didn’t happen & I apologize. The reason I decided to stop posting about my progress was because…there was no progress! After 3 weeks of eating clean and regular exercise, I actually gained weight! I was so upset! I had stuck to the plan Kylee created for me with only minor healthy modifications. I did struggle with the work outs because I didn’t really know what to do once I got to the gym – one of the downfalls of having your personal trainer in another state, but I still did some form of exercise at least 5 times a week! I’ve never really had a problem losing weight before. I just assumed I was heavy because I didn’t really care to be any other way. However, now that I was busting my buns in the kitchen & the gym – I was distraught to see the scale refusing to budge. This was an eye opening lesson for me. I can be an unsympathetic critic at times. In the past when I’d hear stories about people who “tried every diet but nothing worked”, I would scoff and roll my eyes. “Oh please,” I would think, “It’s basic science. Less calories in, more energy out, creates a deficit.” After seeing how hard I worked those 3 weeks with no loss in sight, I would like to apologize to anyone I have ever judged. We have no idea what’s really going on when we look at other people. We have no idea how far they’ve come, how hard they’re working, & honestly, none of that matters because it’s none of our business. Be supportive of others, but keep your eyes on your own path!

As I mentioned in my first Fitness related post, I’m fairly confident in my looks. Believe it or not, I’m in good health, my only issues stem from a lifelong minor kidney issue & injuries from cheerleading. I started this journey looking at it from a preventative angle. If I get fit now, when I find work and have less time, I’ll be at my optimum operating level. If I happen to gain weight, I’ll still be at a much healthier place than if I were to gain weight at my current state. With that being said, after not losing any weight & watching my mom lose 20 (!!!) pounds, my self esteem started to crumble. I am self destructive when I compare myself to others which I think stems from being overly competitive and a perfectionist. I TRY to have a relaxed attitude about other people’s lives because at the end of the day, to quote my favorite band, The Rocket Summer, “What’s right for me, might be not right for you”. For example, a majority of my friends graduated college at age 21 or 22, while I was still working towards my AA in community college. Sure, I felt a stab of anxiety that maybe my life was going nowhere & a hint of jealousy that they were accomplishing something major. Then I considered that they haven’t lived my life. We’ve walked very different roads and made different choices. With this in mind I’m able to keep some perspective and be genuinely happy for others while maintaining confidence in my journey. As I said earlier, be supportive of others, but keep your eyes on your own path! As you might imagine, being a teenager was Hell for me, haha! In my youth, I hadn’t quite developed the attitude I described above. Comparing myself to my friends put me in an extremely dark place that I would never like to revisit. However, while dealing with this weight loss issue, I saw shades of that darkness starting to creep out and I became extremely frustrated and emotional. I shared some of these frustrations with the personal trainer I worked with in SoCal and he helped me make some more healthy modifications to The “Lowe” Down.

Another month later and my weight loss was a grand total of….FOUR POUNDS! My faith in eating healthy and working out had been struck down. What was the point of not eating pizza and ice cream, and spending time at the gym instead of with friends, if all I had to show was a measly 1 pound a week?! NOT. WORTH. IT. Yes, I am aware that the healthiest way to lose weight is 1 to 2 lbs a week, but I want to be that person that loses 8lbs a month, dang it! On top of feeling emotionally disgruntled, I was also in near constant physical pain from injuring my hip somehow at the beginning of March. Seriously, it’s a mystery, I have no idea what I did. With my birthday goal date fast approaching, I did what any sensible person would do, work harder! I threw in the towel! Yes, I gave up! I spent a week eating Wingstop, pizza, Panda Express, Ice Cream, cookies & all sorts of indulgent foods & didn’t count one delicious calorie! However, a funny thing happened. In the midst of all that, I noticed…I didn’t feel good. I felt exhausted, sluggish, heavy, I needed naps in the middle of the day, my body was protesting, “Stop! What are you doing to me!?”. For the first time in my life…I have decided to listen to my body.

I can’t ignore the incredible negative difference I felt in that “Cheat Week” compared to when I was eating clean. My outside appearance may not show any remarkable changes, but my insides sure felt them & as I’m doing this for my health & not looks, that’s all that matters. So I’m back at it! My hip is STILL hurting, even after some time away from the gym, but I work out despite many other injuries, so I’ll just add this one to the list. I now have a much more realistic outlook. I’m not perfect, I love food, & putting so much pressure on myself to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date was adding more stress than was necessary. Now there are no goal dates, there’s a goal number but it’s sitting on the back burner. I started this new phase off with the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” which I will briefly review down below, but even while doing that – I ate pasta. SUE ME! My grandma makes amazing pasta but she hardly ever makes it anymore. Was I going to pass up the chance to enjoy her homemade cooking? NOPE! I don’t need a fit body to help me make money, or help me do my job (if I had one), or ensure the safety of others in some way. I’m doing this for me, & on the last day of my cleanse, my grandma made me some pasta, which may have been a little misguided on her part, haha!, but was a kind gesture nonetheless. If I were to die tomorrow, I would want to be remembered as someone that loved good food, valued the feelings of others, & appreciated the gestures they made. I’ll just have to kick butt in the gym a little harder than usual now!

If you’ve read this far, thank you! I know I can be long winded, but hopefully you found something in this post worthwhile. Please read below my short (I promise!) review of the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse”.

Credit to Dr. Oz

Credit to Dr. Oz

Review: I will come right out & admit – I “cheated” on this cleanse. Take my advice with a grain of salt, this is just my experience with it & how I made it work for me. I spaced all the drinks 2 hours apart.
– Disclaimer: I never drank the Green Tea, took the vitamins, or did the Detox Ultra Bath. I have a weird kidney issue that prevents me from drinking Green Tea, taking too many pills, and putting soap/salt/oils in my bath water. With that in mind, I knew this Cleanse would probably not yield weight loss results, so I was not expecting them. I was hoping to feel lighter and more energized, which I do, so I feel that it served its purpose. I have recommended this cleanse to friends.
– Day 1: The Lunch Drink was a bit hard to choke down because of the texture. I used my juicer for everything except the pineapple, coconut oil, & Almond Milk. I threw those 3 ingredients into my Magic Bullet then added the juice for a final blend, but it still resulted in a stringy, foamy texture. I didn’t drink the Snack Drink because I was feeling super full. Attempted to drink the Dinner Drink & absolutely could NOT manage. The Cayenne Pepper was so overpowering even though I put in less than the recipe called for. I couldn’t finish it, so I had chicken & veggies for dinner.
– Day 2: Fine until the Lunch Drink. This time I put everything in my juicer except the coconut oil & Almond Milk, but the texture was the same. For Snack & Dinner, I decided not to blend the ingredients at all and eat them as a salad or on their own. Cayenne Pepper is way more delicious sprinkled over Mango and Avocado than in a smoothie. I felt insanely tired this day. I think the 2nd day of a cleanse is always the hardest because your body is starting to figure out what you’re doing.
– Day 3: I decided to just eat the meals as stand alone foods or in a salad. This was much easier and tastier. I was happy to not waste any food. When I make a juice/smoothie & it turns out disgusting, I feel bad throwing it away. I’ll try to finish it but sometimes it makes me feel sick, so I’d rather toss it even though I hate watching my money go down the drain. Of course, tonight was the night of aforementioned Grandma’s Pasta, sorry I’m NOT sorry.

Okay, it’s finally over! You made it! Thank you for sticking with this post to the very end, what did you think? There was so much more I wanted to say, but I knew I was going on too much already. Have you ever experienced that emotional roller coaster that comes with weight loss or changing your lifestyle in general? Have you tried the Dr. Oz “3 Day Cleanse” or anything similar? Please let me know some good cleanses to try in the comments below! I think I’m going to try out a different cleanse every weekend…every month?…every now and then? I’m not sure, but I want to be the tester for y’all! Send me your thoughts, I’d love to chat! Thank you for reading…until next time!

Charity & Review: Be Better Movement & Pantene Beautiful Lengths with Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design

Posted in Charity, Collaborations, Hair, Review by
Bye hair! Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, Be Better Movement

Bye hair! Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, Be Better Movement

Hello everyone!
Today I’m going to be talking about this week’s Be Better Movement Challenge, Pantene Beautiful Lengths, & my experience with Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design. For more info on the Be Better Movement, check out my previous post, here. A very brief reminder, the BBM is an organization that issues weekly challenges for participants to earn money for a monthly charity. For every challenge you participate in, you donate $1. If you post about the challenge on Social Media, you’ll donate $2! The challenges are supposed to help you better yourself in some way. Past challenges have included Phone Time Outs, Drink More Water, and Eat Ginger Root, among others.

This week’s BBM Challenge was to “Spoil Yourself”. The charity being supported this month is the UNICEF Tap Project. A lot of ideas sprung to mind when thinking about how I wanted to spoil myself this week – a shopping spree?! A mani/pedi?! A massage?! ALL OF THOSE THINGS?!? To keep my budget down, I decided to stick with an activity I already had planned – a much needed haircut. I kicked it up a notch by cutting off a good chunk of my hair and donating it. What better way to spoil yourself than by enjoying the feeling of helping two charities & getting a fresh new look?! On the recommendation of my friend Sara, I chose to get my hair cut at Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore with Rachel S., which I will review below. I have donated my hair to Locks of Love several times in the past, but this time chose to donate to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.

Pantene Beautiful Lengths is a collaboration between Pantene and the American Cancer Society. So far they have donated over 24,000 free, real hair wigs to the ACS Wig Bank to help cancer patients across the US! You must have at least 8 inches of strong, healthy hair that has not been bleached, permanently dyed, or chemically treated. You put your hair in a ponytail, or several smaller ponytails, and CHOP! Then you follow the mailing instructions, send your hair to PBL, and a few weeks later they’ll mail you a thank you card. That’s it! If you’re brave enough or don’t care about the length of your hair, this is a really wonderful way to help someone. Hair might seem like a silly thing, but remember, the things we take for granted, someone else is wishing for.

Back view. If anyone is wondering, I have very thick but fine hair with somewhat of a wave to it. I asked for an above the shoulder cut with soft, blendable layers, that was full & bouncy & didn't frame the face too much as I have a very round face which doesn't often work well with short hair.

Back view. If anyone is wondering, I have very thick but fine hair with somewhat of a wave to it. I asked for an above the shoulder cut with soft, blendable layers, that was full & bouncy & didn’t frame the face too much as I have a very round face which doesn’t often work well with short hair.

Even though I have donated my hair several times, I’m always nervous about making such a big change. I’m so glad my friend recommended Rachel at Classic Images. She took great care of me, I couldn’t be happier! She was trained at the Paul Mitchell School in Santa Barbara and has worked in a salon for 5 years. She is a Redken Color Certified Hairstylist & a Make-Up Artist. Check out her Instagram: @hairbyrachs for pictures of her work!
I appreciated Rachel’s willingness to walk me through every step of such a big hair style change. In the past, I’ve had stylists get annoyed as I scrolled frantically through my Pinterest Hair Board attempting to show them every inspiration picture. Click here to look at my Pinterest & see what I showed Rachel. (Please feel free to follow me – I’d love to be Pin Pals!) Rachel was patient and understanding. She looked at the pictures carefully then explained how she interpreted the style & how she was going to make that work for my hair. Rachel also does a great job with brow waxing. After I left the salon someone told me my brows were on point – literally one of my top 3 compliments to receive, haha! Overall, the salon is clean, has a nice atmosphere, & decent prices. I would highly recommend Classic Images and Rachel, I have left them a 5 star Yelp Review.

What do y’all think – are you a fan of my new hair? Have you ever donated your hair or will you now? Do some research on Locks of Love and Pantene Beautiful Lengths and see if donating is something you’d be interested in. Please sign up for the Be Better Movement 52 Week Challenge by clicking here – it’s a really wonderful organization! Also, please visit my new friend Rachel S. at Classic Images Hair Design in Livermore next time you need to change up your hair or get your brows waxed – she’s also great at color, she did green & purple peekaboo highlights on my friend – so awesome! Tell her I sent you & be sure to tag me on Instagram/Twitter: @missal_leigh when you post your Before & After pics. I can’t wait to see what y’all do! As always, thanks for reading!

Book Review! The Happiness Project – January/February/March!

Posted in Book Review, Books, Health, Review, Sunday Book Club by

Click here to purchase The Happiness Project!


Hey all!
I’ve had this book on my To Read list for a long time & decided January 2015 was the perfect time to start a Self Actualization/Self Help book, ya know, “New Year, New You”. That turned out to be the best decision because the author, Gretchen Rubin, created The Happiness Project as a year long project. Each chapter is a reflection of goals she set for herself & how she spent the month working towards them. Rubin was a Supreme Court clerk, but decided to leave law to become a writer. The Happiness Project consists of her personal values and research she conducted on the subject of Happiness.

I connected with Rubin almost immediately because she talks about something that I often struggle with, waiting to start projects until her life is in just the right place. I have a tendency to do the same thing, as evidenced by the way I waited precisely until January 1st to start this year long project. Rubin ends up deciding there are no perfect circumstances & sometimes you just have to dive into things. Her desire to change her way of thinking motivated me to join Rubin on her Happiness Project, instead of just reading about it. Each month I will follow the goals & we’ll see how I do. Look for these reviews periodically as it will (obviously) take me a year to fully complete this review and project.

Below, you will find the Goals for January, February, & March, my review of the author’s experience, and what my own experience was. Click the FOLLOW me button on the top right to be notified by email when I post the next installment!

JANUARY
Goals: Sleep earlier, Exercise better, Toss/restore/organize, Tackle a nagging task, Act more energetic
Review: I enjoy Rubin’s writing, she’s sarcastic and sassy. We would be great friends or hate each other because we’re too similar. She’s pretty Type-A & I can be too. She talks about finding peace through having things in just the right order. My friends & family semi-seriously joke that I have OCD because while I’m not necessarily a neat freak, I can be VERY particular. Another thing we have in common is an “insatiable need for credit” (p 24). We want the gold star! We’re highly motivated by praise – I’m really giving away all my secrets – haha!
My Experience: January’s goals were a breeze as I had already made them my New Year’s Resolutions.  I had just moved back to my hometown & was an unemployed, recent college grad – it was the perfect time to focus on my health and sort through the belongings I had accumulated in recent years plus all the stuff waiting for me at my childhood home. I definitely felt better after getting my things in order (somewhat) & getting back into a healthy lifestyle.

FEBRUARY
Goals: Quit nagging, Don’t expect praise or recognition, Fight right, No dumping, Give proofs of love
Review: While this book is based on Rubin’s experience, she also delves into research she conducted, which I found interesting & somewhat troublesome. Something that struck a nerve for me was, “the most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women” (p 52). I found this interesting because I don’t consider myself lonely & a majority of my friends are males because I don’t often find friendships with women fulfilling. The troublesome part of the research was that it relied heavily on stereotypical gender studies. For example, on p53 she talks about her husband not being a good listener, “[l]earning that men & women both turn to women for understanding showed me that Jamie wasn’t ignoring me out of lack of interest or affection: he just wasn’t good at giving that kind of support…[he] wasn’t going to have long discussions…[h]e didn’t want to spend hours pumping up my self-confidence” First of all, who WANTS to spend HOURS pumping up someone’s self confidence?! Second, why should we assume just because he’s male that he doesn’t want to have long discussions or isn’t a good listener? I know plenty of males that enjoy talking way more than I do & are way better listeners – that’s why we’re friends, because we complement each other. I understand there’s science behind these ideas, but if we want to grow as a society, we have to stop applying stereotypes to all men/women. Just learn about people & who they are.
My Experience: This month’s Goals were focused on Rubin’s marriage & I’m single, so I simply chose to apply the Goals to my friends and family. Following through was not as simple. I definitely struggled this month. I was especially nervous about “Don’t expect praise/recognition” because as mentioned earlier – I want that gold star! For example, as a “proof of love”, I bought my mom & myself passes to a ZUMBA studio. The instructor asked how we found them & my mom said, “We found you on Groupon”. Usually, this is where I would jump in & say, “Actually! I found the passes & bought them as a gift”, but I bit my tongue. I tried to consider these struggles as “what difference would it make?” issues. What difference did it make for the ZUMBA instructor to know that taking classes was MY idea, who cares!? Well, I care, but I guess that’s not the point. Another Goal I struggled with was “Quit nagging”. I found it hard to distinguish between nagging and giving a proof of love. Continuing with the ZUMBA example, in the past when my mom wouldn’t want to work out, I’d nag her about getting in shape, being healthy, etc. In an effort to not nag, when she didn’t feel like going to ZUMBA, I didn’t say anything. To me, it felt like I was uninvolved, the nagging was how I showed I cared. In this instance, not nagging worked because my mom found motivation on her own & didn’t feel like I was forcing her. In another instance, when I didn’t nag my friend about following through with something, feelings were hurt because she felt like I hadn’t been involved enough. You can’t please everyone!

MARCH
Goals: Launch a blog, Enjoy the fun of failure, Ask for help, Work smart, Enjoy now
Review: It was comforting to hear Rubin go through similar trials that I have experienced while blogging. A couple quotes from this month I took to heart are, “People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think. Even if [you do] something wrong on the blog, it [won’t] be a disaster” (p75). Also, “one of the biggest challenges posed by my blog was the doubt raised by my own inner critic…Was it egocentric to write so much about my own experience?…I didn’t want to be [a] novelist who spent so much time rewriting his first sentence that he never wrote his second…I needed to…[push] ahead without constantly second guessing myself” (p78).
My Experience: At first glance, I was feeling iffy about these Goals because I already write a blog (obviously), & failure & asking for help are not things I enjoy. The blog issue turned out to be a non-issue, because I’m still in the beginning stages of blogging, so it was easy to follow some of Rubin’s advice and start creating more content. I think I made great strides in terms of posting here more often, which has definitely made me happier and gotten my creative juices flowing as I try to plan my next post. I’ve been asking for help from others in the form of trying to find work & looking for companies that offer new bloggers support like the Bloguettes or Blogger Babes. I’m trying to enjoy the failure of being rejected from jobs, but that’s proving to be difficult. However, when I’m rejected, I try to think of it like “Woo hoo! Now I have more time to find an even more perfect job!”

Overall at this point, I can’t say I’m remarkably happier, but I feel like I’m challenging myself and growing along the way. Is that the same thing as Happiness? I’m not sure, & I think that’s what Rubin is aiming to find out. What do you think!? Have you enjoyed reading about The Happiness Project? Are you inspired to start a project of your own or follow along with me? Please let me know in the comments below! Remember, you can click the picture of the book at the top of this post and it’ll take you to all the Amazon listings – some sales are as low as one penny! Thanks for reading!